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Birthday Presents For Our Dear Leader

From a bowing and scraping Politico:

The best birthday gifts for President Obama

By: Amie Parnes
July 31, 2009

No matter where you think he was born, President Barack Obama celebrates his birthday on the well-documented day of Aug. 4. But what do you give a man who runs the free world, lives in a mansion, enjoys a custom-built 747, a motorcade, personal chefs — and already has a dog? …

For a few suggestions on gifts for the commander in chief, POLITICO asked Washingtonians far and wide: Without regard for price, rules or practical reality, what would you give President Obama for his upcoming birthday?

Joe Biden – vice president of the United States

“It’s a surprise!”

Rep. Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.)

“I would give the president a Wyoming lamb pelt to use as a cushion for those lengthy rides on Air Force One. They’re extremely comfortable to sit on.”

Melody Barnes – Director, Domestic Policy Council

“Some time to spend with his wife and kids — and a health care reform bill — probably would be the best present a president could get.”

Nizam Ali – co-owner, Ben’s Chili Bowl

“We’d send him a case of chili half-smokes from here. Other than that, maybe a three-day vacation somewhere with his family. Because he works hard. He deserves a three-day weekend.”

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah)

“A good pair of Wranglers and the ShamWow, so he can help clean up this financial mess. He may need a couple, but as I recall, you get two for one.”

Ron Kirk – United States trade representative

“I’m going to send him the $20 I lost to him on the golf course.”

Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.)

“The health care reform bill.”

Rep. Lynn Westmoreland (R-Ga.)

“Pillows for the Cabinet Room, so Larry Summers can sleep more comfortably — and a copy of the Constitution.”

Sen. Tom Udall (D-N.M.)

“I would take him for a world-famous green chile cheeseburger from the Buckhorn Tavern in San Antonio, N.M., next time he’s in the state. The Buckhorn chef just won a ‘Throwdown’ against Bobby Flay on the Food Network.”

Tom Daschle – former Senate majority leader

“Passage of the Barack Obama High-Performance, High-Value Health Care System With Lower Cost, Better Quality, Greater Access and More Choice Act!”

Martin Frost – former member, U.S. House of Representatives (D-Texas)

“A White Sox-Cubs World Series.”

Austan Goolsbee – member, Council of Economic Advisers

“Federal gift rules prohibit giving a gift to the boss of more than $20 in value, so a bag of Garrett’s popcorn from Chicago and maybe a major bank.”

Darienne Page – West Wing receptionist

“Something about golf or Hawaii. He would love anything about those two things.”

Newt Gingrich – former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives

“A week with his family in Hawaii with no news media and no schedule — and three days’ basketball practice with Michael Jordan.”

Frank Coleman – senior vice president, Distilled Spirits Council

“A basket of the very best American whiskeys, including a Woodford Reserve, a Booker’s small batch, a George Dickel Barrel Select, a Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel and Maker’s Mark, all signed by the master distillers.”

Desiree Filippone – U.S. Olympic Committee’s director for government relations

“The 2016 Olympics in Chicago, his hometown!”

Ellen Tauscher – under secretary of state for arms control and international security

“A Kindle with Dan Silva’s and Dan Brown’s novels loaded onto it for beach reading at Martha’s Vineyard and the weekends at Camp David.”

Nancy G. Brinker – founder, Susan G. Komen for the Cure and 2009 Medal of Freedom recipient

“I would give President Obama the heartfelt thanks of the millions of Americans impacted by cancer — thanks for his demonstrated commitment to the fight against all forms of this insidious disease.”

Lanny Davis – former special counsel to the White House and Democratic strategist

“A copy of Seth Davis’s book, ‘When March Went Mad: The Game That Transformed College Basketball.’ This is a book about the landmark 1979 NCAA championship game. It’s written by the one Davis in the Davis family who supported Barack Obama for president from the start.”

Josh Block – director of strategic communications and spokesman, American Israel Public Affairs Committee

“My gift would be to help jump-start the Middle East peace process by facilitating a visit to Israel by the Saudi king. Short of that, music lessons from Dickey Betts of The Allman Brothers Band. Doesn’t everyone want to be able to play that sweet guitar solo from ‘Blue Sky’?”

Paul Begala – CNN political contributor and former adviser to President Bill Clinton

“I would give our president the one thing he probably wants most but finds it hardest to have: 24 hours as a normal husband and dad. I so admire how he’s balancing family and work, but the White House is, as President Clinton once told me, ‘The crown jewel of the federal penal system.’”

S.E. Cupp  co-author of “Why You’re Wrong About the Right” and commentator

“If beer diplomacy is the president’s answer to race relations, perhaps a Beer of the Month Club membership would help make us a post-racial America.”

Craig Shirley – president of Shirley & Banister Public Affairs and author of a forthcoming biography of Ronald Reagan

“Obama’s birthday and vacation could be a, shall we say, ‘teachable moment’ in the laws of supply and demand. I would suggest the following books as a good place to start: ‘The Road to Serfdom,’ by F.A. Hayek and Bruce Caldwell; ‘Free to Choose,’ by Milton Friedman and Rose Friedman; ‘The Conservative Mind,’ by Russell Kirk.”

Lurita Doan – host, “Leadership Matters,” on Federal News Radio 1500 AM

“I would give him a copy of ‘Atlas Shrugged,’ by Ayn Rand. He might enjoy reading how Wesley Mouch envisions, justifies and then launches one plan after another to expand the scope, the intrusiveness and the size of government. I can only hope Mr. Obama will read to the end of the book to see where those flawed policies lead.”

David Yepsen – director of the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute at Southern Illinois University Carbondale

“A beer cooler.”

We realize that we are supposed to be gently amused by this piece.

But, really, it smacks just a little too much of the customs and attitudes towards the ‘Big Man’ in every tin-horn dictatorship throughout history.

Whatever happened to the idea of the United States being a republic?

But what do you give a man who runs the free world…

We might suggest a couple of classes in Civics, and maybe a copy of Alexis de Tocqueville’s ‘Democracy In America.’

This article was posted by Steve on Friday, July 31st, 2009. Comments are currently closed.

14 Responses to “Birthday Presents For Our Dear Leader”

  1. wardmama4 says:

    I would give him a one-way ticket to his beloved Kenya (or is that Indonesia?!?) so that my beloved America would once again be The Land of the Free, The Home of the Brave.

    You know Politico just might want to be careful, they are treading awfully close to State Media status with their vapid attempt to circumvent this recent article:

    Birthday surprise for Obama?
    Posted: June 19, 2009
    1:00 am Eastern

    © 2009

    Barack Obama says his birthday is Aug. 4.

    I have no reason to disbelieve him. It’s just that I have no real evidence to support that belief.

    After all, Barack Obama has been known to tell a few whoppers.

    But, on this one, I suggest we take his word for it. I don’t know where he was born, but let’s assume he’s telling the truth about the date.

    I think it’s time for us to start thinking about a birthday present.

    I would love to tell you that I have secured a billboard facing the White House that asks, “Where’s the birth certificate?” Unfortunately, there are no such billboards in Washington. And the few that exist are outrageously expensive – to date well beyond the means of my modest national campaign.

    As I’ve said often since January 20, 2009 – Leni Riefenstahl would be so proud (and jealous).

  2. electionhangovervictim says:

    Pitching lessons with Curt Schilling would be a good gift for Mr. O.

  3. Consilience says:

    Impeachment hearings should be at the top of the list and then a Air Force One flight to Kenya—one-way! He and his long-lost brother in the hut need to catch up…

  4. catherine t. says:

    Seems there IS something the ‘man who has everything’ does not have. . .and think it would make a great birthday gift. How about an ‘authentic’ Birth Certificate. He could finally let go all those Lawyers he is paying for ‘Court time’ trying to defend what so far; he appears not to have. We can solve Obama’s problem; and wish him a real ‘authentic’; genuine. . . ‘Happy Birth Day’!.

  5. catie says:

    A swift kick in the rear end.

  6. MinnesotaRush says:

    His (official) walking papers!

    From this:
    Service & Humility – George Washington

    Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log of wood without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled. The rider asked the corporal why he wasn’t helping. The corporal replied: “I am the corporal. I give orders.”

    The rider dismounted, went up and stood by the soldiers and as they tried to lift the wood, he helped them. With his help, the task was carried out. The rider was George Washington, the Commander-in-chief. He quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal and said, “The next time your men need help, send for the commander-in-chief.”

    Once when George Washington was riding near Washington city with a group of friends, their horses leaped over a wall. One steed kicked off a number of stones.

    “Better replace them” suggested the General.

    “Oh, let the farmer do it,” replied the friends.

    When the riding party was over, Washington turned his horses back the way they had come. Dismounting at the wall, he carefully replaced the stones.

    “Oh General,” said a companion, “you are too big to do that.”

    “On the contrary,” answered Washington, “I am the right size.”

    To this o-blah-blah fraud: “But what do you give a man who runs the free world,”

    Just NO idea of public service or humility! (By so many)

  7. Dangerous says:

    I think an appropriate gift for Obama would be some dvd’s picked up at a local walmart the night of the 3rd.

    On second thought, better make sure we pick those up in a different country so his dvd player won’t read them.

    On third thought, there’s no real point. The great I Won has already proven himself immune to irony.

  8. jobeth says:

    A course in race relations given by Crowley,
    A course in world class manners and decorum.
    A copy of Glenn Beck’s book’s “Common Sense”
    A mandate that he lives under the same health care he is forcing on others including the “End of Life conferences”.

    I would wrap this all in the constitution and include a card that includes a ticket to the African country of his choice (Kenya).

    I would give this all to him at an impeachment party leading to his final removal from office.

    I would also include an apology on why we have to cancel his return trip.

    Then I would go to the REAL party!

  9. neocon mom says:

    A carefully calibrated rear-end thermometer (you know, to help him with his words next time he decides to talk out of his a**).

  10. canary says:

    A night in a 4 star cave with Osama Bin Laden.

  11. JohnMG says:

    I’d like to give him, and millions more like him, my work ethic. How about he spread that around?

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