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Burris ‘Lightens’ Senate Mood With Poem

From the ‘Prescriptions’ blog of the New York Times, which is their (other) Obama-care activism wing:

Acrimony, and Poetry, in the Senate


December 22, 2009

With divisions over health care legislation spurring bad blood in the Senate, Senator Roland Burris, Democrat of Illinois, went to the floor on Tuesday morning with a poetic offering, aimed at lightening the mood for his Senate colleagues.

“I recognize the long hours and tense negotiation have left some nerves and tempers frayed,” Mr. Burris said in his wind-up. “That’s why I come to the floor today, although our work keeps us away from our family and friends for much of this holiday seasons, I see no reason why we can’t share good cheers with one another right here in Washington. So in the spirits of the season, I would like to share my own version of a classic holiday story with my good friends on both sides of the aisle.”

And with that, he began:

It was the night before Christmas and all through the Senate, the right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it.

The people had voted a mandated reform, but Republicans blew off the gathering storm. We’ll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin. And in the mid-term elections we’ll get voted in.

They knew regular folks needed help right this second. But fund-raisers, lobbyists and politics beckoned.

So try as they might, Democrats could not win, because the majority was simply too thin.

Then across every state, there rose such a clatter. The whole Senate rushed out to see what was the matter.

All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor, straight through the cloakroom and right out the door.

What in the world would be quite so raucous, but a mandate for change from the Democratic caucus?

The president, the speaker, of course Leader Reid, answered the call in our hour of need.

More rapid than eagles, the provisions they came and they whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Better coverage, cost savings, a strong public plan.

Accountable options. We said yes, we can.

No exclusions or changes for pre-existing conditions. Let’s pass a bill that restores competition.

The Democrats all came together to fight for the American people that Christmas Eve night.

And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome, the roll call was closed and it was time to go home.

Despite the obstructionist tactics of some, the filibuster had broken, the people had won.

And a good bill was ready for President Obama. Ready to sign and end health care drama.

Democrats explained as they drove out of sight, better coverage for all, even our friends on the right.

And I say to all my colleagues in this season Merry Christmas. And a happy, happy, new year. Thank you, Mr. President and I yield the floor.”

Yes, one can readily see how having a well known criminal sleazebag call the Republicans obstructionists to the express will of the people would lighten the mood of the Senate and spread Christmas cheer.

God help us every one.

This article was posted by Steve on Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009. Comments are currently closed.

31 Responses to “Burris ‘Lightens’ Senate Mood With Poem”

  1. Tater Salad says:

    Now getting back to reality:

    Give Ben Nelson of Nebraska the boot:


  2. BillK says:

    Naturally, no mention of this as a negative in any media other than S&L.

    Big shock.

  3. proreason says:

    He fits right in with the Chicago thugs, doesn’t he?

  4. Reality Bytes says:

    What’s with Poems Lately?! OK – I got one.

    In the thick of night,
    They passed this bill,
    Claimed, their right,
    “We Won! Be Still!”
    “While America, we slowly kill.”

    But in the end,
    Perhaps too late,
    We The People – we’ll defend,
    America, its pitiful fate,
    And right this ship, the ship of state.

  5. proreason says:

    Dashing around for show
    In a loud-mouthed screeching way
    O’er the rubes we go
    Laughing all the way
    Bells on Barney ring
    Making spirits bright
    Oh what fun it is to laugh and sing
    Our Marxist song tonight

    Phony bills, phony bills,
    Phony all the way
    Oh, what fun it is to lie
    In our loud mouthed screeching way
    Phony bills, phony bills,
    Phony all the way
    Oh, what fun it is to lie
    In our loud mouthed screeching way

    A day or two ago
    I thought I’d take a bribe
    And soon Miss Harry Reid
    Was seated by my side
    My course was lean and rank
    Misfortune ruled my day
    We lurched into a heated snit,
    But then I got my pay

    Phony bills, phony bills,
    Phony all the way
    Oh, what fun it is to lie
    In a loud mouthed screeching way
    Phony bills, phony bills,
    Phony all the way
    Oh, what fun it is to lie
    In a loud mouthed screeching way

    • Reality Bytes says:


      PJ O’Rourke Like – LOL!

    • flyh2o says:

      that was such a nice poem. my turn.

      twas the night before christmas and all through the government
      our elected officials were in need of an ass whippin’!

      that’s it.

    • jobeth says:

      Pro…Love it! Excellent and true!

      And flyh2o …yours has a really good “ring” to it as well! Short and sweet, to the point with no unneeded flourish! I like it!

  6. MinnesotaRush says:

    “The Democrats all came together to fight for the American people that Christmas Eve night.”

    These contemptuous bast_rds are truly disconnected from reality!

    Skip the poem, Burris .. how ’bout a paragraph outlining your Constitutional authority for this crap!!!

  7. platypus says:

    This reminds me of Satan’s closing line from the movie Devil’s Advocate:

    “Vanity – my favorite sin.”

  8. U NO HOO says:

    Burris and his ilk are fasking buctards.

    I mean that in a nice way.

    Merry Christmas

  9. vladtheimp says:

    Maybe a “Truthier” poem would read somewhat differently:

    It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Chamber
    Harry Reid bought dems votes, till each dying ember

    The people hated this bill throughout the land
    But democrats gave them the back of their hand.

    We’ll ignore all the people, they cried with a grin.
    Anything it takes, as long as we win.

    They knew regular folks wanted less government,
    But the process they knew could be easily bent,

    The ignored all the rules, and promises made,
    And hid the bill till their plan was laid.

    Then across every state there rose such a clatter
    The dems knew their health plan would shatter.

    Unless they could pass it in the dead of the night
    Before midterm elections could set the world right.

    The bill was hidden from view, like Nancy’s Botox,
    To be sprung on the people, like A Jack-in-the-Box.

    Blago’s revenge, the Burris non-player,
    Swore he’d sit out the vote, without single payer.

    More rapid than eagles, the droppings they came,
    And they whistled and shouted and called them by name.

    Ben Nelson, Mary Landreau, and all the old whores,
    Took money like vaseline, to cover their sores.

    The Democrats all came together to fight
    For trial lawyers, bums and leeches, that Christmas Eve night.

    And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome
    The roll call was closed, and it was time to go home.

    In spite of the attempt to gain Regular Order,
    Old folks and producers, were primed for the slaughter.

    Chicago Thug Politics had triumphed after all,
    Representative Government was left at the hall.

    Democrats explained as they drove out of sight
    Screw the public, we exercised might over right.

  10. GetBackJack says:

    My contribution (from my email Inbox)

    Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

    Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.

    She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,

    Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

    He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.

    Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

    He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

    With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

    From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

    Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

    With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

    When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.

    Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,

    Tiger’s wife went investin’ — a new home in Sweden .

    And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

    “If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”

    She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

    Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.

  11. catie says:

    I don’t know, it’s hard to compare this piece of poetic tripe with “Neptune’s bones dissolve”. Where do the dims get such poet laureates?

  12. sheehanjihad says:

    Twas the night before Christmas, in the Senate with Reid
    standing up at the podium, grinning with greed.
    He was shaking with excitement, at the group that he led
    those lapdogs he paid to pass a bill they havent read

    He pounded the podium hard with his fist
    and he screeched really creepy at the times he had missed
    this is one chance he’s taking, this health bill will pass
    and he jumped as Ben Nelson’s big lips kissed his ass

    ol Benny was happy, his State was immune
    from now on the whole country will dance to his tune
    He knew that his “boss” had to bribe him, you see
    Pinky’s promise of no taxes, hell, he got off scott free!

    and Mary of Louisiana, man, she even got more!
    it would be a nice compliment to call her a whore
    300 million dollars of our taxes she’ll spend
    for a vote that will make our once great country end

    Chris Dodd got a “hospital”, an unknown one to boot
    it was just a hundred mill, he spends that on his suits
    but his vote was for sale, as it was with his peers
    and Al Franken was a shoe in, for two cases of beer

    They all sat there not thinking, just doing what they were told
    all proud of their “transparency” and being “historically bold”
    they all looked at themselves like they thought they were cool
    but each one secretly knew they were a weak bunch of tools

    They laughed at Roland Burris, who got a bought seat for free
    as he recited a poem, mocking democracy
    the comic of corruption, thinking he’s great cuz he’s black
    while the entire senate laughs at him behind his back

    The Republicans absent, their presence not needed
    because just like teabagging, they found out they were “Reid’d”
    they really did try to stop this bill from it’s passing
    because they knew that outside, there were patriots massing

    The Democrat Senate is spineless and weak
    they are led by that creepy little ferret faced freak
    and the House has a leader with a face made of plastic
    and instead of real make up, she uses a bucket of Mastik

    The Democrat party is bent on legislation
    that will ruin this country, while they go on vacation
    the really dont give a damn, that is very plain to see,
    they are fascists, socialists, and their votes are NOT free
    There’s a storm in the air, and I think I know when
    they will lose all their thrones in two thousand and ten
    the people are awakened, by the enemy at the gates
    and we will have to defeat them before it’s too late

    So pelosi, and schumer, and Ried and Chris Dodd
    and Landrieau, and Murtha, and that Wyoming clod
    enjoy your Christmas, be merry, and keep up your gloating
    because come next november, it will be Americans voting

    You are destroying this country, for money and power
    but you’ll find when it happens, you’ll have less than an hour
    to go into hiding, from the mobs at the door
    and you’ll see your dear leader, lying prone on the floor

    He’ll be begging and pleading and saying it wasnt just me!
    I was just taking orders from the Messiah you see?
    took him straight to the hospital! But he discovered
    that the Health Bill he forced through, well, his ass wasn’t covered

    He looked at the paper, reading paragraph seven
    it said “people in your age group should be thinking of heaven
    Alone in the waiting room, shivering with cold
    reading “treatment denied” because he was simply too old

    And cheers from the parking lot rang loud in his ears
    and his crust wrinkled cheeks were now wet with his tears
    “but I’m Harry!” he croaked with his chin now on his chest
    As the doors burst open, and he was dragged out with the rest.

  13. wardmama4 says:

    Ben Nelson is in trouble – he tried to blame the Gov (R) – that backfired, then he tried to blame Reid and that’s backfired and he even tried to claim that all the states were going to get his goodie (too bad, it said Nebraska) – and oh, btw, back in flyover Nebraska – the polls are 70% against healthcare ‘reform’ – so he has to go home to the people who put him into office – not wanting him to stay there.

    In addition – have you listened to the talk radio shows – What can I do now? Talk about firing workers to load up the unemployment numbers and the state programs to bring them down. Talk about going to jail – and then challenging the Constitutionality of sending someone to jail for not buying something. Talk about – how to bring this government to a stop – since they aren’t listening, don’t care and are just out to destroy the economy and our values. And I agree with them – Take the government down, before it takes America down.

    2010 – Repeal the Bill and Punish those who voted for it.

    Works for Me.

    And great poems guys!

  14. Liberals Demise says:

    Reply doesn’t work so suffice to say…………OUTSTANDING………one and all!!

  15. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Hey, Burris,

    Don’t quit your day job.

    No, seriously.


  16. TerryAnne says:

    ‘Twas the Night Before Socialism

    ‘Twas the night before Socialism, when all through the House
    Not a creature was stirring unless you count Pelosi and her louse.
    The Democrat’s clothes were all new, sparking with care,
    While us great unwashed masses mended our last pair.

    Our children were all frozen, not snug in their beds,
    As visions of toys, food and married parents danced in their heads.
    Many mammas in their ‘kerchiefs, and pas in their caps,
    Wished the Democrats would settle their brains for a long winter’s nap.

    When out on the South Lawn, there arose such a clatter,
    Men frozen in their beds couldn’t rise to see what was the matter.
    Away to the windows, Democrats flew like a flash
    Tore open the shutters and let out a gasp

    Lights long dimmed to pay for Socialist power
    Couldn’t fully show America’s True Flower.
    They all knew it was Sarah Palin, straight from the frontier
    Come to make them accountable, a practice they all feared.

    She appeared in a moment, so surprisingly lively and quick,
    That the Democrats knew their actions must be quick.
    “Oh no,” Pelosi cried as she turned to her clan
    “How dare she interrupt us before we even began!”

    “Now Pelosi! Now Reid! Now Franken and Baucus
    On MSM! On Hollywood! On and on you guys go and forget about the caucus!
    From the top of our mountains to the bottom of our trees
    We wish you to dash away. Forever. Could you do that now, please?”

    “You were voted into office, how quickly you forget,
    By members of this nation, and not your favorite pets.”
    So down from the house-top all the Democrats flew
    To seek solace with their brothers caged up in Washington’s Zoo.

    But then, in a second, they heard on the roof
    The stomping and beating from millions of boots.
    They drew in their heads, and made straight for the door
    Only to find out it had been barred long before.

    The stomping continued, and the wind began to blow
    The Democrats were scared, “We not ready to go!”
    “You should have thought of that before you passed all your bills
    But the country is now sick and tired of all your power grabbing ills.”

    “We’ve had quite enough of your refusal to hear
    When we held our Tea Parties and shouted loud and clear
    That we would not stand for your passing of laws
    That tax most Americans beyond what normal duty calls.”

    “And don’t forget the majority that marched in September
    1.5 million people shouldn’t be hard for you to remember.
    We marched then against healthcare, but you ignored us all the same
    How foolish you all are. So simple. So vain.”

    “You think us simple and stupid, clinging to our Bibles and guns
    We want our country safe. Therefore our job is not done.”
    A wail rose from the House, to be heard near and far
    “But how will we get our money, our power and our cars?”

    “That’s not our problem,” Sarah shouted from the ground
    As the boot stomping from above greatly increased in its sound.
    “Your job is to serve us, to listen to what we say
    We are merely people, not your self-serving prey.”

    Suddenly it grew quiet, and the Democrats ran again for the door
    Stepping over the ones who’d passed out on the floor.
    But as they crossed the threshold, they heard a shout in the night,
    “Republicans and Conservatives, now is the time to stand up and fight!”

  17. sheehanjihad says:

    Terryanne…are you single? LOL! Great job!!

  18. wirenut says:

    Great rewrites folks! LOL. Burris is just one more reason why an open mic on amateur night, produces no-talent amateurs. What a waste,Burris and taxpayer dollars.

  19. Reality Bytes says:

    Eaney Meany Miney Moe,
    Catch a Commie by the toe,
    If He Hollars,
    Vote The Bastard Out of Office,
    Investigate His Ass,
    Indict Him & Send Him to Prison.

    OK – so it doesn’t rhyme but I like the ending.

  20. 12 Gauge Rage says:

    Here’s my little poem directed at all our smug Lefties on capitol hill. It was given to me by a former co-worker

    “If I were a dog and you were a flower, I raise my leg and give you a shower.”

    Piss on all these arrogant asses. There. Got it off my chest.

  21. Steve says:

    Wow! What an amazing surfeit of talent and artistry is on display here in this thread!

    To paraphrase Sam’s line from Casablanca, it almost takes the sting out of being occupied.


  22. proreason says:

    Must be sung in a smokey dishonest baritone…….

    “I’m dream of robbing you this Christmas”

    I’m dreaming of a red Christmas
    Just like the ones that Stalin knew
    Where the hovels glisten,
    and we peasants listen
    To carrots simm’rin in the stew

    I’m dreaming of a green Christmas
    With every carbon credit that I glean
    May your footprints be snowy and clean
    And may all your Christmases be green

    I’m dreaming of a liberal Christmas
    With every dollar that I steal
    May your days be merrily surreal
    And may every Christmas be a deal

  23. Reality Bytes says:

    There was a guy named SG,
    From him liberals would flee
    Then on a day most a year ago
    He won best conservative blog by decree!

    Merry Christmas Steve –

  24. indictburris says:

    Chicago’s new poet laureate isn’t done yet.


    Check out the newest article:

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