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Chavez Demands Three Minute Showers

From his besotted fans at Reuters:

Chavez urges 3-minute showers to conserve water

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

CARACAS (Reuters) – Leftist President Hugo Chavez called on Venezuelans on Wednesday to stop singing in the shower and to wash in three minutes because the oil-exporting nation is having problems supplying water and electricity.

Venezuela has suffered several serious blackouts in the past year because of rapidly growing demand and under-investment, which has been aggravated by a drop in water levels in hydroelectric dams that provide most of its energy.

Chavez announced energy-saving measures and said he would create a ministry to deal with the electricity shortages, which have affected the image of his socialist revolution before legislative elections due in 2010.

Calling for water conservation, he said low rainfall caused by the El Nino weather phenomenon meant water levels were critically low in the El Guri reservoir, one of the world’s largest dams.

"Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour. No kids, three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink," he said during a televised Cabinet meeting.

"If you are going to lie back, in the bath, with the soap and you turn on the what’s it called, the Jacuzzi … imagine that, what kind of communism is that? We’re not in times of Jacuzzi," he said, to laughter from his ministers.

He mentioned using airplanes to try to force rain from clouds and said the government would soon publish a decree prohibiting imports of low-efficiency electrical appliances. He called on ministries and state-run companies to cut energy consumption by 20 percent immediately.

Mr. Chavez then went on to announce:

In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now… 16 years old! – Woody Allen’s movie, ‘Bananas’

The last time we checked Venezuela had a lot of oil. So why are they so strapped for energy that people can’t take long showers?

Doesn’t Mr. Chavez now control every aspect of Venezuela’s energy industry? How could it be falling behind?

Still, this is probably just an excuse for Mr. Chavez to forge ahead with his previously announced plans to develop nuclear power (with Iran’s help) – for peaceful purposes only, of course.

Meanwhile, note how even though in this very article Mr. Chavez proudly proclaims his communism, Reuters merely calls him a “leftist.” But maybe it’s become a distinction without a difference.

But given these admissions, it occurs to us that it might not have been the sulphur of President Bush Mr. Chavez was smelling at the UN, after all.

Maybe like fish don’t realize they are wet, dirty commies don’t realize how much they stink.

This article was posted by Steve on Friday, October 23rd, 2009. Comments are currently closed.

7 Responses to “Chavez Demands Three Minute Showers”

  1. proreason says:

    Based on my occasional exposure to liberals, I think that 53% of the US would have to shower a LOT longer to reach the 3 minute threshhold.

  2. Liberals Demise says:

    The stench of Hugo doesn’t wash off. Sand blast maybe but never water soluble!

    I’ll bet we could make Chavez sing with a good water boarding.

  3. Tater Salad says:

    Chavez sounds just like the Obama administration.

  4. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Or, be like the Taliban, and forgo showers and bathing altogether. Imagine how that would boost the “all men’s club” attendance and keep those pesky women out.

  5. canary says:

    Communism is a complimenting word. Sharing the wealth. Everyone is entitled to a home. I refer to Obama a communist, while so many hesitate to call him a socialist. Finally, someone I know said he was for socialism. I corrected them and said ‘communism’, and the person’s eyes got big, and he said “yeah!!!” Call it what it is. It’s a compliment. I don’t understand the Republicans watching their p’s and q’s.

  6. 12 Gauge Rage says:

    Three minute showers? If Chavez invested as much money into Venezuela’s infrastructure as he did to acquire Russian and Chinese military hardware, he would have the means to meet his country’s basic needs. But his paranoia of the U.S. and internal opposition takes higher priority over everything else.

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