“Hi honey” grinned President Obama. “How’s your day been…hey, what’s that smell?”

“Don’t start” warned a furious Michelle. “Don’t…even…start”. Her eyes flashed with anger and her sculpted arms rippled menacingly. Her husband eyed his Amazonian spouse with concern and alarm.

“Has one of the girl’s got an upset tummy? Did the toilet back up? You didn’t drop a tampon down it again, did you?” The president held his nose. “Oh man, that’s bad!”

“It’s not the girls and it’s not the toilet and it’s not a tampon – it’s the Clintons!”

“Well, now I’m confused” admitted the president. “What have they got to –hey, Michelle! C’mon! You’re tracking it all over the place!”

“Those stupid hillbillies dumped their stupid hillbilly crap –eight years of it – all over my garden and now we’re ankle deep in Clinton poop and all my tomatoes have died and you’re worried about your stupid carpet” snarled a furiously pacing Michelle, her size 12Ws leaving long brown streaks along the Oval Office carpet. “Sometimes I wonder about your priorities, Barack”.

“Their crap?”

“Yes, their crap! Their excrement! Their filth, dung, manure, feces, dirt, muck, number two, poop, doodoo, caca, night soil, merde, effluvia, and bodily waste! It’s all over my garden!”

“I thought your garden was going to be all organic anyway”.

“Not THAT organic, you goofus! Do you want to eat anything that was grown in their poop? Well, do you?”

“Maybe not. And you’re sure it’s the Clinton’s?”

“Oh for God’s sake, Barack! Whose else would it be?”

“I dunno. Bush?”

“This is one time you can’t blame Bush. Look, I want this…this stuff cleaned up Barack; cleaned up pronto!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll call the Park Service or the FBI or the Green Berets or somebody”.

“Not them! You know who to call – and tell Madame Secretary of State to bring a goddam shovel!”

The WH chef’s, maids, and security should start the first WH Labor Union. They won’t even have to worry about losing their jobs.

In fact isn’t the playgound ON the sludgefilled grass?

Every afternoon you can hear the Belle screaming…”Take off those shoes, before entering the “big house”!

One little fix though – I think E should be – Not My Fault. And F should be All of the above.

Of course always and forever the answer is: All of the Above.

(a) This is another example of white oppression.
(b) This is another example of a black blaming a white.
(c) This is another example of a man soiling a woman’s “garden.”
(d) The poisoning explains Michelle’s etched scowl of a face.
(e) All of the above.

What a terrific find!

Lead found in Michelle Obama’s White House vegetable
Suzanne Goldenberg, US environment correspondent guardian.co.uk, Thursday 2 July 2009

Instead, an embarrassed White House admitted today that the plot – whose lettuce, herbs and other produce have been consumed by the first family, visiting dignitaries, local school children and a women’s homeless shelter – had tested positive for elevated levels of lead.

However, it is advised for young children to be tested for exposure to lead if they play in areas where lead concentrations exceed 100 parts per million. The Environmental Protection Agency puts the threshold for dangerous lead levels at 300 parts per million.
.. the disclosure is awkward for a White House…

Children are especially vulnerable to exposure to lead, which can cause neurological and kidney damage, and stunt their growth.
Sam Kass, who followed the Obamas from Chicago as their personal chef, …

Katie McCormick Lelyveld, the first lady’s spokeswoman, said. A lead level of 92 parts per million is significantly better than the government standard for a garden like this…. and they’ll continue to do so,” Lelyveld said.

The White House would not say whether the Obamas or the children who had helped tend the garden would be tested for lead exposure.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/worl.....arden-lead

Famous Organic Expert says excellent tested soil making Michelle’s garden better than his own. Claims “Secret” ingredient used.

Michelle Obama’s First Harvest Gets an A Plus
US NEWS June 20, 2009 By Paul Bedard

Future Farmers of America ought to adopt her as its organic and healthful eating spokeswoman….

Jim Crawford, a Pennsylvania organic farmer who supplies D.C. foodie faves like Restaurant Nora, .. whose New Morning Farm goods are on sale at two District farmers’ markets, advises Kass on the first lady’s garden.

In fact, says Crawford, ..garden in just a few short months has outshone some of his 40 acres of berries, herbs, and vegetables. Why? The soil. “The ground really seems to be nice and balanced,” Crawford says. After it was tested, natural ingredients like crab meal were added to adjust the pH, sulphur, and potassium levels. Then a secret ingredient from an organic fan arrived: compost from New York celebrity chef Dan Barber.

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/wa.....-plus.html

LA TIMES June 6 2009
At the party they returned for a feast using some of what they grew,

“This is our reward for all that hard work,” she told the children.

He credited a large amount of rain for the garden’s bounty. Kass said no chemicals had been used on the garden, but it’s not certified organic. Weekly weeding was done by him…and some volunteers.
–Mary MacVean
http://latimesblogs.latimes.co.....party.html

…and rightfully so…

MACA’s complaint letter to Michelle Obama on her garden (agricultural farming) agenda
http://www.lavidalocavore.org/diary/1309/

Sorry, to post so much, but thinking of worthless EPA, who would guess so many experts creating such a smoke-screen to implement Michelle as a farmer expert.
Shame on the Obama’s who were once lawyers, and the hypocrisy of pushing better health care.
One article said that it was 1100 square feet. Many build above gardens with healthy soil, and easier maintaining. They could have showed the children this method for future impoverished Americans who will grow gardens in small back yards. Stupid. Ignorant.