Shocker: Fidel Castro Is Still Alive And Kicking

By now you’ve probably heard the glad tidings from Cuba’s official Communist Party daily, Granma:

Of course a cynic might note that when you control the press you can easily get yourself photographed with a mocked-up front page, just in case things go wrong.

By the way, the headline reads: "Absolved By History."

Now about that beard color…

Oh well, like the rest of our one party media, we are overjoyed that the world’s oldest dictator is still ruling with an iron fist.

Let joy (but no personal liberties) be unconfined!

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