“It’s ‘Castanato’, pal. Get it right”.

“Oh. Sorry, um, sir. I beg your pardon; I was thinking of our senior leadership. Hi, Mr Castro; my name’s Gary Bland and I’m calling from the Republican National Committee. I wonder if I could take up a few minutes of your valuable time to tell you all about what the RNC is doing for conservatives such as yourself and to invite you to make a contribution to our efforts on your behalf”.

“I don’t think so, Gary”.

“But why not, sir? Every day our crack team of wealthy, middle aged white men with strange hair is working hard for you, making the tough calls and the big decisions on the important issues affecting our nation”.

“Yeah? Decisions such as what?”

“Well, um, like decisions about how soon and how completely we can cave in to the administration, um, I mean how we can work together in a spirit of appeasement, I mean healthy bipartisanship, to find a solution for the disastrous economic legacy of George Bush”.

“WHAT?! Now look, I had my issues with Bush – we all did but it’s not that simple…”

“Well said, Mr Contralto, it truly is as simple as that – and there’s also the rising menace of grass roots, populist rabble rousers who want to wrest control of the party away from the experienced hands of men like Senator Boehner and Chairman Token, I mean Steele, good men who have led us so well and taken us so far, and put it the sweaty paws of the unwashed and ignorant hoi polloi”.

“So you speak Classical Greek, huh? I’m impressed”.

“What?”

“Hoi polloi’ – its Classical Greek for ‘the many’ or ‘the rabble’”.

“Really? I never knew that, sir; of course I went to college in America, so I can barely speak or read English anyway”.

“Media Studies degree, huh?”

“How’d you know that, sir?”

“Lucky guess. Listen, Gary; I’m going to hang up now”.

“But Mr Coyote –please! Let me tell you all about the party’s exciting ideas about surrender and compliance, about our secret plan for the next four years –‘Operation Learn to Live with It’. Pretty exciting, huh? I’m sure you’ll want to put your hand in your pocket, sir, once you know more about what today’s GOP is doing for you!”

“Doing to me, is more like it. Bye, Gary: don’t ever call back, okay?”

“But, but Mr Cuttlefish…”

CLICK!

*Thanks to everyone for your generous comments. It’s always nice to know someone’s reading this stuff besides me and my therapist and that testicle jokes are still such a crowd pleaser. The idea for this last one came from all the posts about people getting cold calls from the RNC, so thanks for that, folks.

A while back I organized all the “funny” stuff I’ve written over the last couple of years and it come to more than 150,000 words, which is a lot more than I’ve written of the novel I’m supposed to be working on. Anyway, I sometimes wonder what all those words accomplished, apart from making me feel momentarily better, but if they give folks a bit of a laugh while still making a point then I guess it’s worthwhile. I should thank Steve too, for kindly letting me take up so much space on his site – gracias amigo, as they say up in Wisconsin.

So there is ol Cindy “the Snag” Sheehan, spouting her usual mindless drivel wearing the PLO colors and exhorting the crowd to do whatever she’s talking about. I do hope she gets more involved, I havent had anything to laugh at since November……

http://www.zombietime.com/

If Republicans don’t have the numbers to stop it, then what is money going to do? Buy Senators?

Hmmm.. Would it help if these guys had a magnifying glass?

Very well put.

The sad and dangerous genocide for blacks – called the glass ceiling – cannot be overturned in 24 hours. It is why we get “insightful comments” from blacks like “now I love my country and can tell my children there is hope for a black… blah, blah, blah. because Obama was elected.

The very result exposed the racial myth in America, while confusing the glass ceiling peddlers like Sharpton, Jackson, etc – who of course were put in the back of the Obama bus, only to be released after the election – and is now chasing down a cartoonist for a shot monkey in the Post.

There is a dangerous precedent being established, that I dont think can be turned back, because blacks in America choose to be segregated purposely and are now faced with the unity idea for the first time. Its all too much in too little time. AA and entitlements have and will never work based on skin color – that was the poison pill in Civil Rights laws – yet after 40 years of forcing people to eat a crappy , stinky bare-boned fish each day – they now have a shiny new pole, reel, shoreline and no f*^&%#(* clue what do do with it.

I believe you are dead on, with a few caveats.

2 things IMO Reps need to do is this

1) Behave conservatively – clearly Rush and many other party higher ups are beginning to realize this (or have for awhile) , but many handlers felt “moving to the left” would drive support for undecided or independents. Bad, bad, bad idea. Conservatives became ambivolent and thought it would work, being the ideological spectrum lends to ambivolence in the middle. What it did was show nothingness and a lack of conservative action and thought.

If someone walks into a store, know they need windshiled wipers, but not which ones, best ones, brand etc – is a sale more or less likely to come if a salesperson points out his best 1 or 2, shows them how to mount it/or mounts it himself or just stands there ambivolent?

2)Control the Dialogue. This one is the most important in my opinion, for it is what todays society, technology, attention span and ability to influence has become. It has nothing to do with issues, stances, laws, etc. Now, I imagine you think I am nuts – being there is a stark divide between left and right in America – but when it comes to winning perceptions, communication and elections – issues have nothing to do with it. It is the reason why Dems can call Bush a “terrorist”, while allowing nearly every practice to exist, even the Gitmo “hot button” Polls, opinions, etc are shoved down our throiats about “what America feels about Gitmo” – you know what – 1,000 (at best) sample of people and their opinion on Gitmo has more to do with “moral perception” than the reality and issue of its existence. The difference is – Dems control the dialogue as “those who uphold global rights”, while doing the very same thing. The perception of the average American most likely resides (within this example specifically) in “Reps are badly abusing those people, its not right so I don’t like it” or “They are terrorsits who should rot in Gitmo, with zero Geneva protection or civil rights”

The issue hasnt changed, nor has the reality of 320 or so terrorist sitting in Gitmo – what has changed in the dialogue.

Reps need to control the dialogue now, concerning who Reps/Cons are and what Dems are not. Of course Reps dont have 90% of the global media in their back pocket like Dems, which is a boon for Dems dialogue and hampers Reps – so I suggest Reps start innovating ways to control the dialogue through tech and media outlets. On the bright side – it appears only Murdoch and Fox Corp actually make money in traditional media today and blow away others in TV/Cable ratings. Lets start utilizing it.

All in all – it seems this was Regan’s ethos, message and leadership. Put a stick in the ground and live by it. Everything else is noise and the Dems are controlling the noisy classroom.

I also thought it was disgusting when anyone compared Bush to Hitler. But I only vaguely remember someone in the UAW doing so. Not the equivalent of Rush, i.e. Howard Dean or Keith Olberman. Nor do I remember anyone cheering for the US to lose the Iraq War. I do many liberals doing what I just said. I hope this works but I think it’s wrong/bad. That would be the civilized, decent response. Disagreement is fine. This is ridiculous. He might as well be burning the American flag.”

Your shtick is about as transparent as Mr. Obama pledged his administration would be.

No, no one important on the other side compared Bush to Hitler. (Hint, MoveOn.org ran ads comparing Bush to Hitler.)

And, no, no one on the other side was cheering for us to lose the war in Iraq.

We should believe you and not our lying eyes.

Which, is among many others, a good reason for giving Mr. Paul zero attention.

Completely insulting…..