« | »

Hillary Offers A ‘Date With Bill’ For Donation

From a remarkably unfazed BBC News:

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton poses with Colombian women in typical dress at the Plaza Mayor convention center in Medellin March 28, 2009.

Mrs Clinton offers day with Bill

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is offering the chance to spend a day with her husband Bill in exchange for help paying off her campaign debt.

The offer was sent to supporters of Mrs Clinton in an e-mail from her former campaign manager, James Carville.

Mrs Clinton owes $2.3m (£1.5m) from her run for the Democratic Party nomination for the presidency last year.

For a $5 donation, supporters enter a draw for several prizes including a day with the former US president.

The other prizes are tickets to the season finale of the hit US talent show American Idol and lunch in Washington with Mr Carville – a long-time Democratic strategist.

The day with Mr Clinton involves meeting him in New York and attending "several interesting events".

"Make a $5 contribution today, and you could be on your way to one of these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities!" Mr Carville’s e-mail said.

"Your contribution today not only gives you the chance at winning one of these fantastic prizes, it’ll also help our dear friend, Hillary Clinton, pay off the very last of her campaign debt."

As secretary of state, Mrs Clinton is banned from fund-raising but loyalists such as Mr Carville have stepped into the breach.

Previous appeals have whittled down her debt from a peak of $25.2m to $2.3m, all of which is owed to Mark Penn, a pollster and political strategist

We realize that Mrs. Clinton is a Democrat.

But aren’t there laws against procuring?

And speaking of ‘loyalists,’ why doesn’t Mr. Penn just waive his fee?

This article was posted by Steve on Friday, April 17th, 2009. Comments are currently closed.

28 Responses to “Hillary Offers A ‘Date With Bill’ For Donation”

  1. Confucius says:

    “procuring”? Is that college-talk for pimping?

    And when did Bill start charging? And for $5? Isn’t that a bit cheap, even for a skanky man-ho?

    Speaking of skanks, what does Barney charge?

  2. Kilmeny says:

    And right now every reasonably ( or not so reasonably) attractive female Clinton supporter is saying to themselves, “Why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?”

    • jobeth says:

      With his record of “possible” rape accusations, would anyone be willing to risk it?


    • canary says:

      Kilmeny, thanks for today’s laugh.
      JoBeth, my first thought too. And wondering if you could exchange that prize. Then on 2nd thought, it would be great to win a date with Clinton, if you could take a few friends along. Oh heck. Who’d need anyone to come along. smack, slap, bam. clobber.

  3. BannedbytheTaliban says:

    Who knew Hillary was such a pimp? First Chelsea now Bill.

  4. caligirl9 says:

    Sad thing is I know several women who would jump at the chance for a “date with Bill”—on the up and up or on the downlow.

    They positively worship him. One attended both inauguration and was *shocked* *shocked* to learn I did not share her love for ‘ol Bill.

    • catie says:

      Caligirl, I too know many women that wouldn’t think twice about this. How gross. But I think the worst of the worst would be a launch date with carville and begalia.

    • canary says:

      Caligirl, Even Hilary has been terrified of the STD possibilty, and probably grateful to any woman to risk their life to please Bill. Hillary is a weakling and will probably tolerate any abuse or unfaitfullness from anyone or any country.

  5. wardmama4 says:

    Well at least now we know exactly what Hillary thinks of Bill – and he is too self consumed to even get the joke. But then they are both Democrats – doubt either of them get it from each other at all, ever. The joke that is.

  6. David says:

    Brilliant idea by Hillary, if I won an evening with Bill I would probably agree to pay off her debt to get out of it too.

    • jrmcdonald says:

      Good catch David! Perhaps she could use some Obama/ Chicago thug tactics: Make people pay or he will show up.

  7. 12 Gauge Rage says:

    The thought of my nineteen year old daughter out on a date with this unrepentant skirt chaser boils my blood. Thankfully she’s a conservative like her dad, loves guns, and prefers riding horses over hormone raging guys. So, Caligirl, I know what an STD is, but in B. Clinton’s case would it mean Selfish Thoughtless D**k?

    • caligirl9 says:

      12 Gauge, that acronym floats my boat!
      No wonder ‘ol Hil was so much into universal health care, a concern for what Bill was leaving all over the nation!
      Hey, I admit I missed Bill somewhat—the antics were laughable, and the fact that anyone could consider him credible despite his lack of, ahem, decorum, boggled my mind. I did not think the U.S. could go any lower.
      I was wrong.
      Congrats on the horse riding kid … that’s how I grew up too! Guns and horses rule!

  8. 12 Gauge Rage says:

    Caligirl, Glad you liked it. Instead of posters of boy bands, my daughter has her walls and bedroom door covered with posters and pictures of horses. Not to mention her numerous collection of horse figurines-which she still continues to add on. I wonder if the Homeland Security nuts will call Child Protective Services on me for the way I’ve raised her?

    • canary says:

      Cali and 12 Gauge, horse people are good people. Orin Mixer was my favorite
      painter of horses. He died of a heart attack last year, while selling a painting in Texas.
      CNN used to be the Clinton Network News. Now it’s the Comi Nation Network

  9. AmericanIPA says:

    Let’s see if I get this straight:

    Prize #1: Letting a fat old lying hillbilly do his best attempt at charm and possibly grope you for an entire day.

    Prize #2: Have dinner with a different obnoxious loudmouth hillbilly liar.

    Prize #3: Attend the American Idol finale.

    I’m not the biggest Idol fan by far, but the choice is obvious to me. And the donor is bailing out a multi-millionaire who has never done a day’s work in her entire worthless life, after probably donating to her idiotic campaign in the first place. Lovely.

    The confusing thing to me is how the Clintons haven’t figured out a way to get taxpayers to pay this loan off.

  10. Moonspinner says:

    Hillary has always been Bill’s enabler and now she is his pimp, and they are still the low lifes they have always been.

  11. Lisa22 says:

    They have to add the dry cleaning bill (remember Monica’s dress?) to the price too, hehe

  12. curvyred says:

    With or without cigar?

  13. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Heard the bidding was up to $1.83 on eBay

  14. GnuCarSmell says:

    “The day with Mr Clinton involves meeting him in New York and attending several interesting events.”

    Several interesting events? That’s a bit too vague to be reassuring. Hopefully the lucky guest is provided a body guard to keep the old horndog at bay in case things get too “interesting.”

  15. toosmart4you says:

    Wow, what a fantastic opportunity to have lunch with one the greatest presidents we’ve ever had (despite allowing the repeal of Glass-Steagall and signing NAFTA, however in all fairness to Bill both houses of congress were Republican controlled) or one of the most articulate speakers for liberalism in today’s media.

    In fact, I’m gonna buy a hundred tickets as soon as I finish my post.

    Loved Bill Clinton, read his autobiography. Love James Carville, read two of his books..

    Glad I voted for Obama…Can’t wait to do it again..

    • jobeth says:

      I heard your seeing eye dog has been delayed.

      Probably why you can’t see reality.

    • Barbie says:

      I know this isn’t ‘kind’, but what kind of a tool has a user name ‘toosmart4you’? And are you trying to convince others or are you trying to convince yourself? Just curious.

  16. Anonymoose says:

    This would never happen with Bush because:

    A. The media would skewer it.

    B. He’s married and has morals.

    I know a few women also who would jump at the opportunity for this, which just shows it’s all about image and not about reality.

  17. artboyusa says:

    “The Midnight Cowboy Comes Again!” starring BILL CLINTON, Male Escort and former President!

    “Joystick has left the building. Joystick is en route” the secret Service agent murmured into his cufflink as Bill climbed into the gleaming limousine.

    “I wonder why they made ‘Joystick’ my code name?” Bill wondered. “Is it because I bring happiness wherever Ah go?”

    As the limo sped away he could still hear Ratso – sorry, Hillary’s voice: “Lissen, Billy boy; there’s lottsa rich, horned out society dames in this berg who’ll pay top dollar for a roll in the hay with a stud like youse (cough cough). Wid your looks and my, um, managerial skills wese could make a fortune, see?”

    Bill saw. He propped his Frye booted feet up on the rich Cordoban leather of the backseat and adjusted his Stetson. He reached into the pocket of his buckskin jacket and pulled out a scrap of paper.

    “Mrs Medusa ‘Cookie’ Gorgonberg, 117 E 74th St. Apt 214” he read. “One hour special”.

    The haunting harmonica music of Lou Adler –nar narnarnarnarnar nar nar – filled his ears until he switched off the radio.

    The limo drew up to the curb and Bill cupped his hand and huffed into it for a quick breath check before stepping onto the rich burgundy red carpet outside the canopied entrance. “Okay Billy: show time” he muttered.

    “Apartment 214” he told the uniformed doorman. “Gotta, um, deliver something”.

    “Go right up, Mr, ah, President” murmured the flunkey. “You’re expected”.
    “You from the agency?” demanded the stick thin matron, looking Bill up and down as if he was some food she was considering sending back. “I’m Cookie”.

    “Right pleased to meet you, Ma’am” answered Bill, as he gazed around at the rich wall panelling carved from precious Bongo wood, the blazing chandeliers of finest Zirconium and the gold framed oil painting of a portly middle aged gentleman which dominated one wall.

    “That’s Morris, my late husband” croaked Cookie Gorgonberg. “He was a jerk”.

    “Yes, Ma’am”.

    “Well, enough chit chat. The bedroom’s in there. Let’s go, Tex”.

    “My name’s Bill, ma’am”.

    “Yeah? Come on, get those pants off”.

    “Um, okay”.

    “And the boxers too”.

    “Yes, Ma’am – so, what do you think? Pretty good huh?”

    “I’ve seen worse. Just let me unhook get this damn girdle…okay, now you can pleasure me, Tex”.

    “Um, Ah kinda thought maybe we could kinda get to know each other a little first” suggested Bill. “Maybe you’d like to hear about mah new life after leaving the White House?”


    “Or about mah global travels promoting humanitarian causes through the William J Clinton Foundation?

    “Nuh uh. Time is money, Tex” said Cookie, tapping her Cartier wristwatch.

    “Well, okay” conceded Bill. “Now Ah’ll just lie back and you can kneel down there and, you know, take care of me and afterwards Ah’ll give you a copy of ‘Leavers of Grass’ by Walt Whitman and then Ah’ll lie about what we done to the grand jury – how’s that sound?”

    “Forget it, plow boy” snapped Cookie, shoving Bill backward on the enormous bed and straddling him. “You’re bought and paid for and you’re here to pleasure me, so get pleasuring – chop chop!”

    “Pleasure…you?” stammered Bill, grappling with the unfamiliar concept. “Ah’m not sure Ah know how…”

    Well, let’s see if you’re a fast learner, huh Tex?”
    Later, Bill raised up on one elbow and gazed down on Cookie’s emacerated form. Poor old gal, he thought. She looks like a praying mantis. I guess she can’t afford to eat much.

    “So – how was Ah?” he asked.

    “I’ve had worse. The money’s in that envelope on the armoire. You better count it”.

    “Shucks, Ah trust you ma’am” said Bill, making a mental note to wait until she was in the bathroom and count it then.

    “Say Ma’am; who’s this handsome young fella?” asked Bill, picking up a gold framed photo of a smiling lad from the bedside table. “Your son? Grandson?”

    “Nope. That’s me…back when I was still a guy”.

  18. This is a lottery plain and simple. If I wanted to raffle off a date with Ms. Vickie, I am guessing twenty or thirty million.

« Front Page | To Top
« | »