SubscribeHillary Says Obama Is Looking For A Fight
From her lickspittle minions at the Associated Press:
Clinton says Obama ‘looking for a fight’
By BETH FOUHY, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - Hillary Rodham Clinton argued on Tuesday that Barack Obama’s frustration with losing prompted him to look for a fight in the debate while Obama asserted that his rival and her husband, former President Clinton, were repeatedly distorting his record.
“I think it’s very clear that Senator Clinton… and the president have been spending the last month attacking me in ways that are not accurate,” the Illinois senator told reporters in a conference call shortly after Clinton lashed out at him in a bitter exchange that carried over from Monday night.
Speaking to reporters in Washington, Hillary Clinton belittled Obama’s line of debate criticism against her as “rehearsed points.”
“I think what we saw last night was that he’s very frustrated,” she said. “I believe that the events of the last 10 or so days, the outcome of New Hampshire and Nevada, have apparently convinced him to adopt a different strategy…
“He clearly came — he telegraphed it, he talked about it — he clearly came last night looking for a fight. He was determined and launched right in,” Hillary Clinton said. “And I thought it was important to set the record straight.” …
“Senator Clinton announced while we were still in Iowa that this was going to be her strategy and called it the fun part of campaigning. And, you know, I don’t think it’s the fun part to fudge the truth,” he said. “The necessary part of this campaign is to make sure that we’re getting accurate information to voters about people’s respective records.” …
The New York senator defended her husband’s aggressive criticism of Obama, saying it didn’t contradict the former president’s role as senior statesman and Democratic Party leader. Obama has recently complained about Bill Clinton’s role and suggested he has repeatedly misrepresented Obama’s record…
The former president defended the criticism that he and his wife have leveled at Obama…
The former president said nothing his wife said during Monday night’s debate or by him about Obama had been inaccurate. “I try to be very careful about what I say,” he said…
Hillary Clinton, in her comments with reporters, rejected the notion she had used patronizing or racially charged language against Obama. She has called him, among other things, a “talented” and “young African American man.”
“I really cannot strongly enough just reject that,” Clinton said. “I think this is totally about us as individuals. He is African American. I am a woman. This obviously brings with it an enormous historical significance on both of our behalfs [sic].” …
There she goes again, not playing the gender card.
“Senator Clinton announced while we were still in Iowa that this was going to be her strategy and called it the fun part of campaigning. And, you know, I don’t think it’s the fun part to fudge the truth,” he said.
Mr. Obama does not stand a chance if the harshest thing he can say about Hillary is that she sometimes “fudges” the truth.
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15 Responses to “Hillary Says Obama Is Looking For A Fight”
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January 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
That’s like someone “looking for a fight” after getting blindsided or sucker-punched. God, I ALMOST felt sorry for the poor bastard last night…..
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
” Clinton said. “I think this is totally about us as individuals. He is African American. I am a woman. This obviously brings with it an enormous historical significance on both of our behalfs [sic].” …
There she goes again, not playing the gender card.”
And not playing the race card.
January 22nd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
So the ” Punching Hag ” has a strategy and Pinocchio has to be careful of what he says . RICH ! No ,
PRICELESS !
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I’m enjoying watching them go after each other though.
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
JerseyGrrrl , so does bill . WHO knew ?
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 am
I have to admit, seeing those two throwing C**P at each other was great! Maybe the world will see that dumbocrats are just mean, to anybody and everybody! How do they expect to get along with business if they are so busy fighting! I’m sorry, Billary and Osama Barak both need to just get out!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:21 am
That’s strange I thought HRC said that she thought Obama looked suicidal.
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:38 am
What did Obama expect? Afterall, these are the Clintons we’re talking about.
When LPIAPs says she thought Hill said that Obama looked “suicidal” I immediately thought of Vince Foster. One does not want to be on the wrong side of the Clintoons.
Since Bill has already been proclaimed as our first “black” president, a proclaimation that came from other black’s, Obama don’t stand a chance. Question…Would this make Hitlary our first black woman president? Hey, a twofer for minority rights.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:38 am
Who’s Uncle Fester sitting next to Hellary? Man, she travels with odd, sinisater looking folks. Ever notice how libs all look half dead? Bill Maher(sp) and I gotta go to the Jon Stewart(sp) look fresh from the funeral home make up artist.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:48 am
Vince Foster could not be reached for comments. He has taken the Clinton vow of silence.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:50 am
AMERICAN PERFECTIONN, the Hillary Clinton Story, takes a screaming nosedive into danger with “The President-to-Be’s Plane is Missing!”
“So you’re saying Hillary’s… trained her dog to talk?”
“That’s right” said Chad the Press Officer to the assembled newshawks aboard Hillary’s campaign jet, “The Spirit of Entitlement”. “That’s right; she trained him to talk and the first words he said were ‘I love you, Hillary’”.
“No way”
“Way! ‘Rye ruv rou, Rirrary’ is what he said, just like that”.
“Wow. What’s the mutt’s name?”
“His name’s ‘Taser’. The Senator’s named him after the anniversary present she picked out for her husband. And he’s not a mutt, he’s a cuddly little miniature Collie, kinda like a scaled-down Lassie”.
“Okay. So when are we gonna get to meet Taser the Talking Dog?”
“Uh…soon. Real soon. Taser’s resting right now. Um, if you folks’ll excuse me…”
In Hillary’s private quarters the candidate licked the last rib bone clean and dropped it in the pile on her plate.
“Mmmmm” she smiled. “That’s what happens if you shit on my carpet, Taser. Bad dog”.
“Senator? Can I have a word?” asked Chad, sticking his head around the corner.
“Sure, Todd; come on in”.
“Senator, this thing with the dog’s not working – where is he, by the way?”
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and looked innocent.
“Dunno”.
“Anyway, I’m thinking we could do another stunt here on the plane, like when you pretended to be the stewardess? They loved that”.
“I’m not impersonating any more menials, Chimp” warned Hillary. “It demeans my status”.
“No, no. I was thinking that this time you could pretend to fly the plane. You know, ‘Hillary in the Sky’, ‘Hillary Takes Control’ – it could be good…’Good Morning, America’ good”.
“Yeah? In that case okay; let’s go”.
Later, cruising along at 30,000 feet, Hillary made her way to the cockpit and turned on her famous charm.
“Move it, flyboy” she told the pilot, shoving him out of his seat. “And gimme that hat” she said, snatching it off his head and placing it on her own.
“Ready, Senator?” asked Chad.
“Yeah; bring ‘em in” said Hillary. “Let’s get this over with”.
The press crowded in the cockpit doorway, cameras clicking and flashing and whirring.
“Senator! look this way! Give us a big smile, Hillary!” Turn this way, Hillary! No, turn this way!”
Hillary did her best to stay in line with her new ‘nice guy’ image; smiling and turning and nodding and smiling.
“Can you really fly the plane?” someone called out.
“Sure, why not?” answered the ambition-crazed hermaphrodite. “Its easy, see? Just like driving a car…” she looked around for whatever you needed to pull to put this thing in Drive and couldn’t see it.
So many levers and switches and stuff, she thought. I wonder what happens if you push this button? She stretched out her talon…
“Noooooo!” screamed Mike the Pilot, grabbing for her arm, but it was too late!
Uh-oh. We all knew she’d overreach herself one day! Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion to “The President-to-Be’s Plane is Missing!”
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Artboy does it again! With the Fred? dropping out today I thank you for the laugh.
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Hey, Obama! Don’t forget to duck just in case Hillary shows up at the next debate holding a table lamp.
January 24th, 2008 at 11:11 am
AMERICAN PERFECTIONN, the Hillary Clinton Story, presents the action-drenched conclusion to “The President-to-Be’s Plane is Missing!” Introducing Taser the Wonder Dog!
Out of control, Hillary’s jet plunged earthwards toward certain death.
Aboard the doomed aircraft, lights flashed alarmingly, oxygen masks dangled uselessly, people screamed loudly and alarm bells rang endlessly.
AAAARRR! AAAARRR! AAAARRR! they went
Piled against the bulkheads by the force of the dive, the media tapped frantically at their laptops. Normal people would be phoning their loved ones with heartbreaking final messages at a time like this but this was the Press we’re talking about and nobody loved them, as they loved nobody, so they filed copy instead.
“Hillary Goes Down
(Adam Clymer, New York Times)
In what observers describe as “a definite setback” to her campaign, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton died today when her campaign jet, ‘The Spirit of Entitlement’ crashed in flames…”
“Bill Vows to Fill Wife’s Shoes
(John Hair, USA Today)
In a shock admission of long-rumored transvestite behavior, former President Bill Clinton today vowed to ‘fill the shoes’ and ‘don the pantsuits’ of his dead wife Hillary, who was killed earlier today. ‘I’ll have to have them taken in a little in the seat’ said the grief-stricken…”
“Hillary: We Didn’t Love Her Enough
(Dominick Dunne, Vanity Fair)
Nemesis overtook Hubris in the turbulent skies above West Virginia today when, like an Icarus in a polyester pantsuit, Hillary Clinton fell to Earth…”
AAAARRR! AAAARRR! AAAARRR!
Joe Friday, Hillary’s loyal bodyguard and hired goon, shoved his way toward the Exit door. Joe clubbed with his pistol at the hands which reached in desperation for the silken bundle he held close.
“My name’s Friday” he muttered. “I carry a parachute…”
Martin Bormann, his partner, clutched a seatback with one arm and thrust the other straight out before him. Tears of joy streamed down Bormann’s leathery face; in just a few moments he would see his beloved Fuhrer once again. Above the shriek of the engines he sang the old Party song for the last time:
“Heute gehort un Deutschland und Morgen der Ganze welt…”
AAAARRR! AAAARRR! AAAARRR!
In the cockpit Hillary’s face was mashed up against the control panel while her enormous ass stuck up in the air like Gibraltar. Buglike, her arms and legs flailed in furious futility as Captain Tom sobbed with fear.
This is it, she thought. Game Over. There’d never be a second Clinton Presidency, she’d never get to fight for the ordinary people and be their voice, she’d never get to be more than ‘bi-curious’, never…
Hillary felt a sudden tug at her trouser leg. She glanced down in irritation at the interruption of her Death Crash Soliloquy and her eyes widened in surprise. It was…
Taser!
Of course it was – you don’t think she’d actually eat a dog, as was intimated in the first part, do you? She’s a lot of things but she’s not that bad – I was going to say “and she’s not Korean either” but that might be considered needlessly offensive by some people, so I won’t say it. Oops; better censor that –
“K—-n”, whew, all better now.
Anyway, the little dog looked up at her with his big brown eyes and clearly said “Ress re red rutton, Rirrary! Ress it!”
“Huh?”
“Re Red rutton! Ress it! Ron’t rou reak Rengrish?”
“Wha?”
“Ress re red rutton, rassrole!” barked Taser.
“Say again?”
“O ruck it!” cursed the plucky pet and with one bound he sprang at the control panel and struck the “Auto Pilot On” button with his shiny little nose.
Instantly the doomed plane levelled out. The screaming died away and Hillary slid slowly down the control panel and landed in a heap on the cockpit floor.
“Taser! You saved us” she gasped.
“Rat’s right!” agreed the fabulous canine. “Woof!”
“And you really can talk!”
“Rou betcha!”
“And do you really love me?”
“Hey, let’s not go nuts”.
***
“Dog Saves Bitch
(Washington AP) In an extraordinary mid-air drama a talking dog today saved the life of Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton…on landing at Washington’s Dulles International Airport, the dog identified by sources as a Golden Retriever named ‘Laser’ or perhaps ‘Laszlo’, was arrested by officers from the National Air Traffic Safety Board and the Department of Homeland Security who charged the animal with “operating an aircraft without a valid pilot’s licence”.
“The Clinton Campaign issued an immediate statement downplaying the dog’s alleged role in saving the stricken aircraft.
“When all seemed lost Senator Clinton took full command of the situation and piloted the plane to safety. Any canine assistance she may have received was of a purely advisory nature and Senator Clinton deplores and denies any assertions to the contrary, which can only be more poisonous vilification from the Republican Lie Machine or maybe from that deluded upstart, Senator Brokeback Hussein Osama, who persists, in his folly, to challenge Her Majesty’s right to rule…”
January 25th, 2008 at 7:12 am
AMERICAN PERFECTIONN, the Hillary Clinton Story, presents Taser the Wonder Dog, starring in “Target – Everybody!” or “Don’t Tase Me, Bro!”
“How vuz your meeting mit Der Boss?” enquired Bormann.
“She’s had a vision” said Joe Friday, sitting down heavily. “Gimme some of that, willya?”
Bormann poured Joe a slug of Jaegermeister and another for himself.
“Zo?”
“So” answered Joe, knocking back the fiery liquid “she says that when we almost crashed, when her face was all mashed up against the instrument panel and her enormous ass was sticking up in the air, she had… a vision”.
“I zink I juzt had vun too” shuddered Bormann. “Brrrr”.
“Yeah. Anyhoo, her vision is that she should be the only one running for President. Her vision says that it would be lot simpler for her and easier for the ordinary people to understand if there was nobody else on the ballot except her”.
“Mein Gott”.
“She says that Democrats have too many problems figuring out how to work a voting machine anyway, that they’re all “ballot box challenged”, so if the possibility for error was…removed…everything would be fine and everybody’d be happy – especially her”.
“You mean ‘removed’ in ze sense of…’removed permanent’?”
“Wet work. All of them. All in one go – no use picking them off one by one. Too big a job for us, Marty. We’ll need to bring in some outside contractors”.
“Ve could get ze Von Kreig Twins. Zey’re alvays looging fur werke”.
“Panzer and Stuka? Oh God; I hate working with those two, they creep me out”.
“I know, I know – but ze do very gut werke, ja? Remember ze Kennedy boy? Nuzzing but guppy food aftervards. Vat about Vince Foster? Und zey know how to keep zere mouths shut”.
“Do they even know how to talk? I’ve never heard them say a word. They just stand there and grunt at you”.
“Zey are juzt shy around strangers; you ged used do id”.
“Hmmm…well, we’ll have to find something that’ll give all the contenders, both parties, a reason to be in the same place at the same time; some memorial or some party or something…and then POW! They get hit. Every one of ‘em”.
“Even Kucinich?”
“Especially him, I can’t stand that little runt”.
“Vat aboud Bloomberg?”
“May as well through him in too, just in ca – oh, hi Taser! Hello boy!”
“Ri, ferras!” barked Taser the Wonder Dog, trotting in through the open door. “Row’s rit rowing?”
“Ach, Tazer” grinned Bormann, who like many of his kind had a soft spot for animals but not much else. “Gut to zee you, boy! How’z mine spezial fella?”
“Ran’t comprain” said Taser, wagging his tail happily. “Rut rar rou guy’s roing?”
“Um…nuzzing” stammered Bormann. “Juzt chewing ze fat”.
“Say, Taser” said Joe carefully. “How long were you outside?”
“Oh, rust ra rew rinutes” answered the amazing collie. “Rye rust rad ro check ry ressages”.
“You didn’t hear uz zay anyzing aboud…ach, er, hitting anyzing, did you? Aboud anyzing ve vere planning?”
“Reah, Rye did” said Taser. “Rut’s rup? Rif rere’s a party, ran Rye rum too?”
“Sure, Taser, sure!” said Joe. Hey, listen; we were just going for a drive in the country. You wanna come?”
“Ra rive? Row! Ran Rye ride rup front rand rick ry red rout re rindow? Rye rike rat!” enthused Taser, wagging and jumping around with excitement.
“Sure you can, boy! Sure. Let’s go! And bring the shovel, Marty”.
“Ja” muttered the Bavarian hangman. “Ja”.
“Ra shovel? Rut re ronna reed rat for?”
“You’ll see, Taser. It’s a surprise”.
“Rokay!”