“Barack Obama makes history as the first African-American sworn in as President of the United States; Invoking legacy of Franklin Roosevelt, promises America “nine years of economic depression, four years of world war, eventual nuking of Japan”

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/io.....t-was.html

It’s possible to make a right turn at the corner by making three left turns at the corner immediately following.

Would it be possible for Panetta to get it right?

Colt Luger peered into the mirror as he brushed his thick, Peter Graves-like hair and checked the cleft in his granite-like chin for lint.

“Gotta look sharp” he muttered. “Meeting the new Director Designate today”.

Colt put a cupped hand to his mouth and huffed into it. Breath seems okay, he thought. Now, let’s see; what’s the new guy’s name? Leon…something. Trotsky? No, Leon Panetta – that’s it.

Funny kind of name, mused Colt. Sounds Swedish…
**
“Hello, Mr Panetta. Welcome to Langley! I’m Agent Colt Luger; I’ll be showing you around today and answering any questions you might have”.

“Thank you, Agent Lobo. It’s nice to be here. It’ll certainly help my nomination if I can tell Congress that I’ve actually met some, you know, spies and stuff…”

“I’m sure it will, sir. Did you have any trouble finding our top secret facility?”

“No, it was right there in the Yellow Pages”.

“And on Google Earth too. Well, sir the building we’re in now was designed after the war by a German architect – Albert something or other. He sure liked marble and gold!”

“He certainly did. And this is the Agency’s seal, set into the floor?”

“That’s right, sir. Nice eagle, huh? And there’s our motto: ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’”.

“I thought it was ‘And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free’”.

“Um, maybe. I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Anyway, sir if I may direct your attention over here. This is what we call the ‘Hall of Heroes’, where bronze statues and hand painted oil paintings commemorate some of the greatest agents in CIA history: that’s E. Howard Hunt. That’s Valerie Plame…”

“She’s hot. What’s that, Agent Limbo?”

“That’s the ‘Scroll of Honor’. It records all the seismic world events that the Agency didn’t predict and all our greatest achievements: Korean War, Soviet H-bomb, Suez Crisis, Hungarian revolution, U2 shootdown, Cuban revolution, Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis, Diem assassination…”

“That’s quite a list…”

“Russian invasion of Afghanistan” continued Colt “Iranian revolution, Iran-Iraq War, Kuwait invasion, fall of Communism, Saddam’s WMD – it’s a cavalcade of modern history, sir!”

“It’s a cavalcade of something” muttered Panetta.

“Sir, please” said Colt. “There’s only so much we can do with a secret unaccountable budget of nearly (REDACTED) dollars! We’re not Nostradamus, you know!”

“No, Nostradamus got it right sometimes. What’s next on the tour, Agent Lungfish?”

“Well, that’s the staff canteen. Right now we’re getting these agents familiar with the sort of food they’ll be eating when they’re stationed in Baghdad.”

“Um, that looks like steak and lobster”.

“Exactly, sir! You’re certainly getting the hang of what the Agency’s all about!” enthused Colt. “And down is here is our shooting range, where trainee field agents learn how to handle firearms with deadly efficiency”.

Colt and Panetta watched as the agents grappled with stuck slides on their pistols, tugging them back in forth, hammering them on the walls. Cartridges and magazines lay spilled all over the floor.

“Hey, Jimmy!” said one agent to another. “My gun won’t shoot. Take a look willya?”

“Okeydoke” said the other, peering down the barrel. “Hmmm…looks okay to me…try shaking it”.

“Um, are you armed, Agent Loki?” asked Panetta.

“Affirmative, sir!” said Colt and Panetta quietly stepped a few paces away from him.

BANG!

There was a sudden detonation and everyone jumped. “Owww! My foot!” cried an agent, hopping on one leg.

BANG! BANG!

“Owww! My feet!” yelped another trainee.

Colt took Panetta’s elbow. “Er, moving right along sir, if I may. The ability to blend with the indigenous population is crucial to covert operations. Down here is one of the classrooms where our agents learn Arabic; it’s been a top priority for some time now”.

“It doesn’t look like there’s anybody in there”.

“Um, well…er” stammered Colt. “Maybe they’re at recess”.

“And who’s that fellow?” asked Panetta, pointing to the 6’6” tall Saudi Arabian, with the robes and the turban and the flowing beard streaked with grey. “Is he the teacher?”

“Affirmative, sir! That’s Ben. Ben Landers. He joined us back in 2002 – hi Ben!” waved Colt.

“Hello, American pig!” waved Ben.

“Gee, he looks kinda familiar” mused Panetta. “Was he ever on ‘Star Search’?”

“I wouldn’t know, sir. Well, I think you’ve seen most everything, sir. Since its founding in the dark days of the Cold War, the CIA has stood alert and proud, always ready to fulfil, whatever the cost, its primary mission, which is to be…”

“Irresponsible, unaccountable and wrong most of the time?” said Panetta.

“Exactly, sir! With that kind of quick understanding of what the Agency’s all about I think you’ll do just fine here, sir!”

“Thank you. I’m sure I will” said the tired old Clinton retread, sorry, the experienced DC insider.

The only redeeming outcome of this election will be the swift demise of liberalism in America.
Bush kept us safe. Unfortunately the next terror attack on our nation will come under Obama’s Nap. The investigation will be handled by the DOJ. Panels will be formed, and papers will be written, but there will be no action taken.

It just wouldn’t be prudent to anger moslems. As punishment, they will be offered free air-fare anywhere in the world…

Stay in touch.

After all, that IS what dems do.

Oh well.

HILLARY HAPPENS.

He’s got the fat version of LBJ lieterally stealing an election in St. Pauli Girl (the University of Gophers IS an SDS shiite hole comparable to Radison, WI), his old union thug buddies up to their usual tricks in the Loop, Korean appeasement expert Richardson about to be indicted by the feds, Gazite funds galore from the most illegally monied campaign in U.S. history, and a somewhat proud spousal unit that just discovered the 57 American states last year.

This bunch of bozi will make the Carter years look competent.

Allah help us all, because the power-at-all-costs DNC sure as hell won’t.

Mind you, he’s a very busy thin man, what with placating the union bosses in Chicago, or the tenured Ivy thought police, or the SDS vote magician’s in Minnetonka.

The MSM spent more Time today covering his kids going off to pacifist school, than they did the dour news of all the ex-Clixon appointments to our national defense and justice structures.

When field ops and combat officers start to resign in protest, where will he go for replacements, The One must soon wonder.

Oh well.

HILLARY HAPPENS.

= WACO
= WTC 1
= KHOBAR TOWERS
= AFRICAN EMBASSIES
= SOMALIA
= INDONESIA
= RWANDA
= CHINESE NUKE EXPORTS
= PARDONS
= PECKERWOOD

Some change, that one.

Move On indeed.

What’s next, Cynthia McKinney as FBI Director? ;o)