I’m sorry, though, that with oncosts and compensation packages and, um , wastage, there just won’t be anything left for your soup. Tough break, tex. I’d kinda like to wanna help you with that but I’m a dedicated free marketeeer, you see -except when I get into trouble and then I believe in sharing the wealth, and then sharing it some more when this fiasco of a bill doesn’t work, as it won’t.

Glad we could help Artboy Investments with that $700 billion gazillion trillion handout, can we have our soup now? :-)

“Sorry about that, people. Hello and welcome to Artboy Investments. I’m Artboy, president and CEO. Well, today is a special day, isn’t it? Our bought and paid for Congress performed like the bunch of trained seals they are and did as they were told and today I’ve got $700 billion gazillion trillion of your money in my wallet. Thanks, Congress and thank you, America – when the going got tough you got going and rewarded my incompetent recklessness (or is it my reckless incompetence)? Anyway, thanks for the bucks. I promise to pay you all back someday – in fact, here’s an IOU for the full amount. See? ‘IOU $700 billion gazillion trillion’ -I ‘ll just hang on to this, okay? You might lose it. Anyway, we’re all off to the Veal Crate now to celebrate. Can you come? Oh gosh, I’m sure you wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s not really your kind of place, if you know what I mean.

“You just go home know and keep quiet and don’t ask any questions, okay? Fine. I’ll let you know when, sorry, IF I need to tap you for some more, okay? You know the way out. Bye for now. Come on, Jenna, that champagne won’t uncork itself…”

I’ll use the analogy of protesters. People have asked me why there are never any rallies for conservative causes. I say it’s because we are too busy rearing our children, paying our taxes, working our jobs, paying our bills, giving our time and money to charity, etc. The bad news is what you alluded to: while we’ve been doing this, the left has been tirelessly re-writing the rulebooks, moving the goalposts and are now trying to shove it up our collective arse.

It is time to fight back, but it has to be a commitment that is difficult for people doing the things I mentioned above. I don’t belong to a union that will pay me to protest in DC, etc. I do, however, explain in careful detail, the machinations of our political/economic system and enlighten my children (not brainwash them) about what I believe to be an accurate vision of reality, vis-à-vis capitalism/conservatism versus socialism/liberalism. I am proud to report that they have stood up to teachers spouting liberal dogma. It’s a start…

“…..and some free condoms are about the only things to salve the sting of bad times.”

That’s Dhimmi socialism in a nutshell, heh. Screwed up and lost my job, government handouts ending, I’m so oppressed, sigh, but I can still do the horizontal lambada,

Glad they have their priorities straight. ;o)

The American people have spoken, and they want socialism.

This is the final culmination of the “tear the successful down to our level” mentality promoted by prominent Democrats like Jerry Springer.

We’ll be a country of trailer trash (well, not Palin-like trailer trash) who will be happy to let the Government handle everything because we don’t want to be bothered with doing it for ourselves.

I’ll just sit back dumb and happy waiting for my Government check and let those folks in Washington and the Ruling Class figure everything out, because the TV says they’re smarter and stuff.

It’s just too bad Reagan deregulated all that stuff or think of how good things would be if Carter had been reelected. That’s what the Time magazine I was reading at the barber said…

But really, as I’ve said before, it’s our own fault.

Because we let the left write the history books, we let the left teach it to our kids, we let the left report the news and we let the left tell us what to think by letting the left control the media.

We let the left take over Government, we let the left take over the courts, we let the left write the laws and we let the left water down enforcement of laws they didn’t like.

What did conservatives think would happen?

We squandered Reagan’s legacy, we squandered our time in control of Congress, and in an effort to get invited to the right parties the GOP acted more like the party of Olympia Snowe than the party of Ronald Reagan.

Positive spin changes everything!

/sarcasm

We. Are. Totally. Screwed. Obama’s up in the polls and this election is over. Enjoy a lifetime of socialism, USA.

Hello there! Nice to see you! Welcome to Artboy Investments, a division of PredatorCor. I’m Artboy, the President and CEO – welcome to my private office, high atop our towering, gleaming, shining new building here in beautiful midtown. This place was designed by top architect Frank Gehry and he ain’t cheap but, boy, it’s worth every million of your money it cost.

“Nice pad, huh? That’s my stunning view of Manhattan and this is my big desk and that’s my marble floor and that’s my indoor waterfall and that’s my pet cheetah wearing her diamond collar and those are my Degas bronzes and that’s an original Picasso and that’s my PA Jenna –not now, Jenna. I’m busy. Come back later. Don’t forget the baby oil.

“You may wonder why I’ve asked you ordinary people here today and offered you this glimpse into my magnificent lifestyle. Well, it’s very simple.

“In these times of turbulence on the world’s financial markets I want all of you to know that Artboy Investments remains rock solid. Your deposits are perfectly safe and I remain confident that I’ll be acquitted of all those unfounded charges. You can trust Artboy!

“That said, I still need $700 gazillion trillion of your tax dollars, just to tide me over. I’ll pay it back, I promise.

“Gee, that’s a lot of money’, you may say, and I suppose to you it is. You may wonder what exactly it is that I do or what it is that I know which justifies these kinds of numbers? Good question. What did I do to the company? I took a piece of shit and turned it into a pile of crap, is what.

“And why should you give me the money? That’s another good question. Where did all the company’s own money go? Another good one! Why should I be trusted not to mess up again if you give me all that dough – did I suddenly just get a lot smarter overnight? Exactly!

“You say people like me have done more damage to our economy than Osama Bin Laden ever did? Correct! – and he’s still walking around free, isn’t he? There you go!

“This is America, my friends, and if America stands for anything it stands for two enduring principles. One is that celebrities must never go to jail. The other is that rich people must never, ever, lose money.

“That’s right, my friends. No matter how reckless, greedy or incompetent we may be our wealth insulates us against all the unpleasant consequences, just as your relative poverty exposes you to the same. It’s the American way! You believe in the American way, don’t you? Huh? You’re not some kind of Communist are you? Of course you’re not!

“My friends; look at you and your narrow, empty lives; grinding away at your miserable jobs, coming home to the same woman year after endless year, lucky to squeeze out a couple of week’s vacation in some godforsaken theme park, knowing that your wife will just get older and your children will only grow up and disappoint you.

“Now look at me; with my glossy hair and my nice clothes and my handmade shoes, my seven houses and my fleet of classic cars and my boat the “SS Lay-Z-Daze” and my reserved table at trendy eateries like The Veal Crate and my fifth wife who is 23 and used to be a lingerie model and my PA Jenna and her friend Candi and you want me to give all that up for the sake of a few lousy trillion dollars?

“Come on, America – you’re better than that! This is the most generous nation on Earth and you know what they say: charity begins at home. Not your home – my home, remember?

“Look at all the terrible things that happened when the House voted down Hank Paulson’s brilliant bailout plan – oh, right. Nothing happened – but it might! It just might! Do you want to take that risk?

“So please; dig deep in the pockets of your faded TJ Maxx pants and hand it over. Don’t ask questions; there’s no time for discussion – this is a national emergency! Just cough it up and make me happy, okay?

“You will? That’s great! I’m really glad we had this little talk. You can show yourselves out now – please put that ashtray back – and send Jenna in here, would you?”