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Obama Laughs At Dead Limbaugh Joke

A C-SPAN clip and an editorial the UK’s Telegraph:

Not funny: Barack Obama laughs at Wanda Sykes "joke" about wanting Rush Limbaugh dead

Toby Harnden
US Editor

What was Wanda Sykes thinking? Perhaps more to the point, what was President Barack Obama thinking when he laughed and smiled as the comedienne wished Rush Limbaugh dead?

Although the Left is reporting her White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech as "taking shots" at Limbaugh and mocking everyone, that’s a gross misrepresentation of what turned into a hateful and disgusting diatribe.

I was at the dinner and I began by laughing at Sykes’s gentle teases about the press loving Obama so much they never capture him on film smoking but often seem to get him on the beach.

It was amusing when she quipped that Obama trying so hard to be all things to all men that the next thing is he’ll be seen mowing the White House lawn.

But the speech took a very ugly turn when she laid into Limbaugh.

This is what she said: "Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails, so you’re saying, ‘I hope America fails’, you’re, like, ‘I dont care about people losing their homes, their jobs, our soldiers in Iraq’. He just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason.

"He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying. You know, you might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight."

She then concluded: "Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that’s what he needs." Obama seemed to think this bit was pretty hilarious, grinning and chuckling and turning to share the "joke" with the person sitting on his right.

There’s not much room for differing interpretations of what Sykes said. She called Limbaugh a terrorist and a traitor, suggested that he be tortured and wished him dead.

What was his crime? Hoping that Obama’s policies – which he views as socialist – will fail.

That’s way, way beyond reasoned debate or comedy and Obama’s reaction to it was astonishing.

Imagine if a comedian "joked" that Obama was a terrorist who was guilty of treason and should be tortured and allowed to die. There would justifiably be an outcry.

But when the "joke" comes from a liberal, Obama-supporting comedienne and the target is a right-winger then the likes of Hilary Rosen and Donna Brazile are on CNN saying it’s just comedy and Limbaugh is "fair game".

And Obama laughing when someone wishes Limbaugh dead? Hard to take from the man who promised a new era of civility and elevated debate in Washington.

Normally we eschew giving much-wanted attention to nonentities who say outlandish things to try to up their “Q.”

But we make an exception here, in view of Mr. Obama’s reaction.

By the way, this clip was uploaded to YouTube by the execrable professional Democrat propagandist ‘Firedoglake.’

She obviously thought it was charming.

This article was posted by Steve on Monday, May 11th, 2009. Comments are currently closed.

41 Responses to “Obama Laughs At Dead Limbaugh Joke”

  1. Liberals Demise says:

    Here it is………the tolerant Left showing all of us how to reach across the aisles to make peace with fellow Americans.

    Here is me wishing Barry, “Pass a Kidney Stone”.
    (see …..I did it without wanting his “Demise”)

  2. proreason says:

    The Left is extremely loving, gentle, and tolerant towards everybody except the half of the country that they hate with a fury greater than Armageddon.

  3. Rusty Shackleford says:

    And the war of ideas continues.

    Problem is, Rush explicitly stated the reasoning of his position quite clearly and even went so far as to say he doesn’t want people to lose their homes, etc. And few people on the airwaves are as genuinely supportive of our men and women in uniform as Rush.

    But, in the liberal mind, when his words go into their ears and get sent through the bad connection to their brain, they only react to the initial emotion of the statements and cannot think their way through it. That’s the brain-damage mindset of a liberal. It’s beyond sad and pathetic.

    The real problem is, thanks again to our system which has profited from the sound-bite for effect which permeates our entire culture, the nation is programmed out of critical thinking.

    “I’m Lovin’ It”
    “Coke is it”
    “Life is good”
    “Bush is evil”
    “Hope and change”

    Kinda makes me sick.

  4. Barbie says:

    You can’t blame prez Barry. He doesn’t possess any common sense or class. The teleprompter – Barry’s commander – told him to laugh and giggle. It’s the teleprompter that’s the total fool. Obama was just reacting to having one of his multiple special-interest strings pulled… so he giggled, on cue, because he’s such a dutiful teleprompter drone.

  5. GL0120 says:

    If any proof is still needed that TCO is nothing but a common street thug, this is it.
    Can anyone imagine the uproar had Bush laughed over similar Clinton jokes?
    This is the same man who gave the middle finger salute twice during his campaign and made the “lipstick on a pig” joke about Sarah Palin.
    The man is a total loser, lacking any sense of decorum, without a single gray cell in his skull.

  6. Petronius says:

    I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again.

    The second commandment of Liberalism is: Thou shalt only have enemies on the Right. The Liberal need for enemies on the Right is an attitude and pattern of Liberal behavior. But it is so deeply ingrained in the Liberal psyche that it has to be considered a hallmark of Liberalism, and not a random personal quirk. Take for example the almost total absence of Liberal feminist objections to the mistreatment of females by the Taliban and jihadist Islam––stoning, honor killings, gang rapes, etc. And contrast that with their hatred for women on the Right who speak their minds, such as Miss California or Sarah Palin. Another example: The Bama has no qualms about extending cordial treatment to the worst Leftist thugs on the planet––Hugo Chavez, the Castro brothers, Daniel Ortega––nor about associating with creeps like Bill Ayers, Bernardine Dohrn, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezko, Blago, Louis Farrakhan, Rahm “Dead Fish” Emmanuel. Yet he treats American businessmen and other private citizens with scorn and threats––Chrysler bondholders, hedge fund managers, AIG executives, the CEO of GM, Rush Limbaugh, Joe the Plumber––not to mention his more or less open hatred for Bush and Cheney. None of this moral asymmetry is rational. But it permeates and colors Liberalism through and through, to such a degree that it must be admitted that Liberals characteristically crave enemies on the Right whom they can hate and vilify. If these enemies were not there, Liberals would have to invent them. Like Orwell’s famous Two Minute Hate.

    • Liberals Demise says:

      Also add that if you can not find a immediate nearby enemy…..make one up!
      i.e. Law abiding Tax payers with Tea Bags and Right Wing Extremest Veterans!

    • wardmama4 says:

      Petronius – you are so right – but what I find so crazy is that the exact people, groups, and values they hold dear are the ones that are going to destroy them in the end – do you think the Taliban is going to let, oh say – for example – Ms Sykes remain ‘married’ or heck even alive?

      The psychotic nature of Liberalism is enough to make one crazy themselves – as in ‘how can anyone over the age of 5 believe that stuff’ – but more it belies that their whole ‘core’ of values is as much a lie as the stuff they spew.

      What gets me is how anyone can still vote for them – as Liberals not only ‘favor’ their ‘cronies’ and ‘special interests’ and of course feather their own nests while exacting financial retribution on all others but are the prime reason that the ‘anyone’ is still struggling and/or kept in the abject life that they lead.

      Liberalism is indeed a mental illness – and it sucks to have the inmates running the greatest country in the World into the gutter, the poorhouse and the ground.

  7. Reality Bytes says:

    I remember when Wanda was funny. Hey, didn’t she play a skunk once?

    • Liberals Make Great Speedbumps says:

      She was never funny. I remember when she was on the Academy Awards (I think) doing her loud mouthed “I’m from the ‘hood” BS. Bill Cosby, in his usual classy way, completely owned her for speaking like typical n***** when she tried to ask him a question in the audience. It’s curious that I can’t locate a video of it on YouTube anywhere!

  8. Celina says:

    I wonder if she is aware of what BO thinks of her “marriage” to another woman? /sarc

    These people are truely nauseating. And apparently are not the greatest at comprehending the English language. RL was quite clear in what he wished would fail.

  9. Barbie says:

    Wanda Sykes – Could not the White House Correspondents afford a real entertainer…?
    Wanda Sykes – an ugly person uttering ugly words. Who’s surprised.

    Maybe Wanda can hook up with Perez Hilton. Both seem to be of the same caliber…

    • electionhangovervictim says:

      Yeah, they must be hurtin’ if Wanda YIKES! is the only entertainer they could book for the gig.

  10. wardmama4 says:

    I turned it (WHC Dinner) off when it was being replayed on CSPAN when they did the ‘red’ carpet complete of screaming ‘girls’ for a couple of ‘stars’ – I knew then that it was going to be a total dud of an ‘event’ (i.e. pat myself on the back and make fun of anyone not Dem).

    Ms Sikes however is disgusting and should apologize for her comment – totally unnecessary and low brow. I do, however, love just love how these immature, petty and arrogant people just can not help themselves at all – and keep beating the same old dead horse –

    Won’t they be surprised when no one (poor, jobless or foreclosure bound) gets any ‘gov’ assistance/reparation stimulus dough but see it going not to CEOs but rather the Union bosses and The One’s ™ pals, the economy continue to free fall, and we get another terrorist attack. Made worse by all the biased, coverup and juvenile coverage that The One ™ gets from his propaganda wing.

    Never forget – maybe half the country (although I can give you the figures, indeed more than half of the citizens did not vote for The One) is in the tank for The One and might just be stupid enough to vote for him and buy the BS – but the rest of us are the armed ones who will be capable of taking America back once The One ™ really steps into it (if not sooner).

  11. MinnesotaRush says:

    Rush’s speech at CPAC did a MARVELOUS job of portraying his views of individual potential and success here in America!

    Pretty obvious that these shallow, narrow minded simpletons either didn’t see it or can’t comprehend Rush’s inspiring message!

    Here’s another message they may not have heard of, or can comprehend, ..

    “There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is a proof against all argument, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is condemnation before investigation.” Herbert Spencer

  12. joeblough says:

    But did you catch this part:

    … He [Limbaugh] just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason. …

    So the libs have put the “T” word on the table.


    Whatever she might feel is treason, the constitution has a plainly stated definition of the matter, i.e. “Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort …” — a definition that fits the actions of a growing number of people at the top of the US gov’t.

    Impeachment for treason. Hmmm… Has a ring to it don’t you think?


    I’ll add that one of the key notes of this administration is its remarkable crudeness.

    When B.O. is at the top of his form, he comes across as cool and smooth as one of Sinatra’s rat pack buddies.

    But after his performance is done, it seems to be all dems and dose and youse guyz.

    Kidney failure jokes, unplayable American DVDs for the British prime minister, I don’t speak Austrian, $500 dollar sneakers worn to a charity event … It’s all just, well … crude.

    • Colonel1961 says:

      Yeah, Joe. But, as you certainly know, RL wished for BO’s policies to fail – not the country – big difference. The left, i.e., those of whom it depends on the meaning ‘of the word “is” is’, love to parse liberal-speak, but cannot understand 5th grade English or Introduction to Logic – 201.

      The mind spins as they demand an apology from David Feherty for an awkward supposition in an obscure magazine read by 10,000 Texans, max…


  13. beautyofreason says:

    Liberals are so strange.

    This lady’s mentality is beyond juvenile. It goes something like this: Rush criticized Obama’s fiscal policies – thus, Rush must be as bad as Bin Laden, who planned the murder of 3,000 American civilians. Time to fantasize about Rush’s death in front of dear leader.

  14. oldswimcoach says:

    This may be a small point, but I am concerned that the media has won the labeling war, and waterboarding is now officially a type of “torture” – equal to cutting off heads, noses, maiming, stoning, and making terrorists wear women’s underwear on their heads.

    From the article:

    “There’s not much room for differing interpretations of what Sykes said. She called Limbaugh a terrorist and a traitor, suggested that he be tortured and wished him dead.”

    • Barbie says:

      oldswimcoach, it’s not a small point, and I agree with you.

      (I know this is slightly off topic, sorry) but in example – It’s obvious Sean Hannity’s lib guests repeat this over and over. Hannity is really good about refuting it immediately – saying waterboarding is not torture – and he’ll challenge his ‘guests’ when they try to pull it on him. So we need to continually say ‘it’s not torture’ when we hear the nonsense when someone says it is. Libs know if you repeat a lie often enough, it will start to sound like the truth. And a lie is a good thing to them when it supports their agenda.

  15. canary says:

    Obama jokes about AF1 flyover. Never did believe he was angry.


    • catie says:

      I thought that was inappropriate as well. Those people were running out of those buildings for their lives, thinking the absolute worse was happening to them again. I’m sure that most of those running had voted for him wonder if they laughed at his little joke.

    • canary says:

      Obama was not angry at all about the mock 9/11 fly over with AF1, as the WH
      claimed. I saw on news him joking and laughing , and reporter asked about it, and his smiling face never changed as he answered. In audicity, he speaks of rage against his opposition in Chicago run, when several times he jabbed his pointing finger in his chest. I guess he can blame temper on his father’s side.

  16. There is no doubt the flyover was a “payback” sightseeing tour. Someone else’s brownie camera pictures WILL eventually show up revealing the true mission.

    It is not unusual for the Democrat elite to use OUR money to bolster their own fund raising base. We should be demanding a list of passengers on AF1 for that day..

    Of course there actually MIGHT BE on that list …a Sasha, and a Malia, and a dog named Bo

  17. artboyusa says:

    “MONDO MANDINGO”, based on the trashy – sorry, the classic, 1950s novel by Kyle Onstott of steamy Southern sex, slavery, race mixin’, sex and more sex!
    With Barack Obama as “Barry Mandingo”, Robert C Byrd as “Ole Massa”, Harry Reid as “Young Massa” and Hillary Clinton, in the role she was born to play, as “Miss Lullabelle”!

    “Oh Mandingo, its evah so swelterin’ in this heah bahn. Ah feel so, so… ovaheated. Ah declayuh Ah surely mus’ be lightheaded. I best jus’ lie down in this cool, cool hay and wait for the fevah tuh pass” swooned Miss Lullabelle.

    “Yassum” stammered the muscular slave, his swarthy skin gleaming with perspiration. “Yo bes’ do dat, Missy”.

    “An’ maybe Ah’d feel evah so much bettuh if you was to come ovah heah and, you know, kinda lay down on toppa me and move around some…”

    “Oh, Ah doan’ know ‘bout dat, Missy” fretted the anxious African, remembering his last trip to the Whipping House. “Ah surely don’t”.

    “Well, Ah do” snapped Miss Lullabelle, stamping her delicate foot. “And thuh subject’s not open foh debate!”

    “Well, alright Miss Lullabelle” conceded Mandingo. “But if’n Massa find out, he gwine do me mos’ severely but fuhst, Missy, Ah’s gwine do you mos’ severly too!”

    He seized the quivering maiden in his strong dusky arms and pressed her close to his equally dusky chest.

    “Mandingo – are we mad?” whispered Lullabelle. “Deluded, confused or mentally ill? Can this be raht? Do we two l’il people dare tuh go agin the laws and customs of ouah people and ouah epoch and surrendah ta thuh urgent urgings of ouah boiling, churning loins? Can we, huh?”

    “Yes we can, Missy!” cried Mandingo, suiting his actions to his words. “Yes we can!”

    “Oh Mandingo! Oh Man-ring-a-ding-ding-o! Oh…wow!”

    It had all begun weeks earlier…in the cavernous Massa Bedroom of Falconhurst, the vast, sprawling, colonnaded, marble floored, cypress shaded mansion that had been home to his family for generations, the Ole Massa lay dying.

    “Ah’m dyin’!” he gasped, not telling his assembled family members anything they didn’t already know. “I bin on this Earth foh a long tahm and befoh Ah go home tuh Jesus Ah got some last words of advice foah all you people…”

    “Daddy! Daddy” sniffed Lullabelle, the blue-eyed, golden-tressed, slim waisted, ripe, nubile, ardent and adjective-enhanced daughter of the house. “Doan dah!”

    “Huh? Say what?”

    “Sorry – I meant ‘don’t die’!”

    “Oh, okay” whispered Ole Massa Bobby. “Got it”.

    “There, there sugar” murmured Harry, Lullabelle’s new husband, as he placed a spindly arm around her lissome shoulders. “It’ll be alright”.

    “No it won’t –Ah’m freakin’ dyin’ here if you doan’ mind!” snapped Ole Massa, showing a flash of once feared temper. “Now y’all lissen up – Harry; you’ll be the new Massa of Falconhurst when Ah’m gone. Stay off the hard stuff, whup them n*****s reg’lar and doahn’t fogit to begat an heir on mah beautiful young daughter heah”.

    “I won’t forget to begat, sir” promised Harry, looking forward to beginning the begatting process.

    “That’s good, son” gurgled Ole Massa. “Raht good. And you Lullabelle – you be a good and obedient wahf to yoah husbin now – and you keep away from them big buck n*****s!”

    “Yes Daddy” lied Lullabelle. “Ah will”.

    “An anuthuh thang: nevah fogit that we ah proud Southern aristocrats” admonished the withered, gray haired, incontinent old man. “Keep ouah bloodline pure. Pure blood Ah say – pure!”

    “Pure blood – must keep” mumbled Harry, writing it down in his little notebook. “Got it”.

    “An lahk Ah said, doan’t fogit to whup them….aaarrrrkkk” croaked Ole Massa.

    “He’s croaked, Ah’m afraid” said Ole Doc Severinson, as he collected his leeches from the Ole Massa’s cooling carcass. “And he’s dumped in his pants too; that’s mah medical opinion. Mah deepest condolences to y’all”.

    “Oh Daddy!” wailed Lullabelle. “Whay? Whay’d yo have tuh dah?!”

    “Say what?” wondered Harry, the new Massa of Falconhurst. “Oh, right. Well, he had to die in order to establish a context to the main narrative, which I hope we can now get underway –at long last, finally”.

    “Oh – raht” said Lullabelle. “Ah unduhstand. Yoah so wahse and clevah, Harry – Ah love you!”

    “Ah – I mean I – love you too Lullabelle. Let’s go git begetting that heir, shall we?”

    “Why, Harry Reid, you smooth talkuh you!”
    Tune in tomorrow for more “MONDO MANDINGO”!

    • Gila Monster says:

      Another fantastic literary installment there Artboy and “yuh suthen inflexshun” is most excellent , keep up the good work.

      However, I must admit to stumbling a bit over the adjective-enhanced Miss Lullabelle part. I just can’t picture Shrillary as “slim waisted” or “nubile” but the “ripe” adjective brought me back to reality. She’s “ripe” alright, much like a three day old bovine carcass in the Arizona sun. ;o)

  18. artboyusa says:

    Thanks, Gila. You have to use your imagination – quite a lot of imagination, in this case. Try to think of her as Huma sees her…or maybe not. Better just forget I said anything.

  19. canary says:

    An official in the pentagon told me that there is no way Obama did not know about the Air-Force one. The White House’s hours of saying they didn’t know, makes me believe Obama was on that plane. He publically said he dislikes being in the White House where no one has common since. All the flights to Chicago to eat out. And his public comments on how nifty AF1 is, the earlier vidio of him being shown around AF1, ordering food and being so picky about what he wanted. He even had hotel tioletries on his private plane for guests. Even saw an interview where compared the White House press room, as too small, joked the tiny room reminded him of being in the Middle-East.

    Prehaps the 1st Amendment will now be safe.

  20. artboyusa says:

    “MONDO MANDINGO” Part Two – our sweating, thrusting story continues…

    Under a blazing, burning sun of brazen gold the young slave Barry Mandingo toiled in the steaming molasses fields of the Falconhurst plantation.

    Ankle deep in vast acres the sticky liquid, his broad, muscular, swarthy, muscular back scarred by the overseer’s whip and his brow gleaming with sweat, he listened to the low, soft crooning of the other slaves as they too labored away their miserable lives of bondage and humiliation:

    “When Ah gets dat feelin’ Ah needs sexual healin” they crooned. “Make me feel so fahn…”

    Is that all anyone ever thinks about around here? wondered Barry Mandingo. Sheesh. Maybe I can raise the tone…he cleared his throat (ahem ahem), pulled out his little pitch pipe, blew a note, and began to sing a song that came from the very depths of his ardent soul, a song capturing all the pain and anguish of his suffering people:

    “Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
    With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
    She would merengue and do the cha-cha
    And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
    Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
    They were young and they had each other
    Who could ask… for… more?
    At the Copa, Copacabana
    The hottest spot north of Havana
    At the Copa, Copacabana
    Music and passion were always the fashion…”

    The other slaves dropped their molasses buckets, which plopped heavily one by one into the ooze. They stared at Barry Mandingo with open mouths and wide, astonished eyes. Then slowly, one by one, they too joined in his song of joy:

    “At the Copa , Copacabana
    The hottest spot north of Havana
    At the Copa, Copacabana
    Music and passion were always the fashion
    At the Copa….they fell in loooove…”

    “Now take it home!” cried Mandingo. “Big finish! One and two and…”

    “Hey boy!” snarled a harsh voice. “Leave off with that! Who do you think you are –Stephen Foster?”

    It was Harry, the Young Massa, mounted on his white stallion and holding a bullwhip. “Get back to work! That molasses won’t harvest itself!”

    “Sorry, Massa Harry” mumbled the slaves. “Yassuh, Massa Harry. We’s a-workin’, we’s a-workin’…”

    “And you there, boy” threatened Harry. “I guess I need to whup some of that sass out of your black hide!” He raised his bullwhip high as the proud Mandingo stood before him with bowed head, awaiting yet another whuppin’, I mean whipping.

    “Harry! Stop that at once!” cried a shrill voice. “Put away that bull’s pizzle!”

    Mandingo lifted up his eyes and the breath caught in his swarthy throat. It was Miss Lullabelle – and man, had she grown up!

    He noted her yellow hair, her yellow teeth, her two heaving breasts-one even bigger than the other – her two blue eyes, her pouting red lips- not to mention that white, white skin – and Mandingo felt a sudden stirring in his trousers.

    “Get out of there, stupid possum” he muttered at the curious marsupial that had climbed up his pants leg. “Go on, shoo!”

    Meanwhile, a furious Lullabelle glared angrily at her abashed husband.

    “But Hillary, I mean Lullabelle…” he whined. “I was only going to whup, I mean whip, him a little bit”.

    “You ain’t whuppin’ nobody, Harry Reid!” snapped his furious young wife. “That n****r’s special! That n*****r belongs to me!”

    “What’s a ‘n****r’?” wondered Harry. “Is it like being a ‘h****ie’?”

    “The exact opposite, you moron! Anyway, Ah’m takin’ this boy and Ah’m makin’ him mah special pet. What’s yoah name, boy?”

    “Barry” mumbled the confused slave. “Barry Manilow – I mean Mandingo”.

    “Ah prefer the name ’Kunta Kinte’ but Ah guess Barry will do” said Miss Lullabelle. “Come along now, Barry – you kin carry mah parasol”.

    She marched away toward the Big House on her delicate little white feet and Mandingo followed obediently, not failing to enjoy the view from behind and unable to believe his luck, while Harry sat on his high horse, his pale features contorted with anger. That uppity n*****r or h***ie or whatever he was, he’d pay for this…

    Tune in for more “MONDO MANDINGO” tomorrow!

  21. canary says:

    Sykes called Palins children “those d*mned kids.” on Leno. The liberals always attack conservative children, but I have not heard one negative comment on
    Obama’s little girls.

    I can’t believer this but the YouTube has closed. Once when I posted the extremist protests by American anti-Jew Muslims the same thing happened, after I posted the link. It was when that Odin believing wicken was saying how great the guran and Sharia were. Scary. Here’s the transpript. Think conservatives are owed alot of news time to be fair.

    SYKES: ….– she hasn’t been anywhere. She was like, “I can see Russia from my backyard.” What — what — what — while you were delivering letters to Santa Claus at the North Pole? … you know, how can she be, you know, president or maybe vice president or maybe president with five kids. That is sexist. You would never ask a man that…visions that she’s going to be, you know, some mom and also VP, .. She will pay somebody to take care of those damn kids. She ain’t — .. I hope she never sees those kids when she’s in office…. Out of their damn minds. … — there’s nothing there.

  22. artboyusa says:

    “MONDO MANDINGO”, starring Barry Obama, presents – Part Three: “The Third Part”

    “And y’all kin sleep ovah theah” directed Miss Lullabelle. “No, not theah –that’s the dog’s bed. Over theah on the floah”.

    Mandingo’s eyes bugged out in wonder at the luxury of his new surroundings. “A most attractive domicile” he said. “Who is your designer?”

    “An’ couldn’t y’all trah ta tahlk a little moah…ethnic?” suggested Lullabelle. “It makes y’all sound so…othah…so…foahbidden. It’s kinda a…a turn on”.

    “Oh yassum, Missy!” enthused Mandingo, getting the point right away and shucking and jiving across the marble floor. “Sho nuff! Yassum! Please doan frow me in dat dar briar match! Ole man ribber… dat ole man ribber… Camptown ladies sing dis song doo dar doo dar – so, how am Ah doin’, Missy?”

    “Not bad” mused Lullabelle, biting her lower lip and playing idly with a ringlet of golden hair. “Not bad at all…”
    Young Massa Harry lay in the darkness and stared up at the ceiling. The humid night air filled the bedroom with its sticky sultriness or its sultry stickiness – either way it was hot and he couldn’t sleep.

    On the other side of the enormous four poster bed with its ornate headboard of amorous cherubs carved in precious Bongo wood, Lullabelle snored away.

    Harry glanced over at his new bride and ground his teeth in frustration.

    Every night he was busy, trying to begat an heir on her, while she seemed to take no notice of him at all. She could at least lie there quietly instead of flicking through back issues of National Geographic and Frank Leslie’s Illustrated Newspaper and asking when he’d be finished even as the ardent Harry, mad with lust, thrashed frantically between her indifferent thighs.

    Lullabelle was different to other women – maybe it was her penis, maybe it was something else but Harry had never felt such a raging desire with other women as he did with her.

    True, he still dallied on occasion with his harem of slave women – Petunia, Malaria, Emphysema and Michelle, with her sculpted arms, but it was the golden Lullabelle he truly desired. And he would have her! She would swoon in his arms and surrender to desire! He swore it! And if that could not be – well, Harry had some ideas about that…

    Beside her tormented husband strange dreams filled Lullabelle’s sleeping mind: dreams of obelisks and towering redwood trees, flowers gently opening, trains racing into tunnels, fireworks exploding and fountains flowing copiously –what could it all mean?

    She dreamt darker dreams too: dreams of the slaves in rebellion: the plantation burning, her husband Harry killed before her eyes – and then killed some more before she was seized by the jeering blackamoors and, despite her feeble struggles, cruelly forced to…forced to – no, it was too terrible – forced to… watch them all move in next door.

    Nooooo! Her mind cried out in anguish and yet there was another part, a small secret part of her that whispered…yes!

    Mandingo adapted quickly to his new duties; wearing shoes and clean clothes as though he’d been born into them (which is a pretty disgusting image, actually) and growing even bigger and stronger on the table scraps he wrestled away each night from Ole Rex, the hound dog.

    Lullabelle was more than pleased with her new pet.

    She dressed up Mandingo in a new outfit each day; outfits purchased during protracted expeditions to the Foah Corners Mall, where Mandingo would totter along behind her, weighted down with an ever increasing burden of shopping bags and packages.

    She showed him off to her friends at every tea party, soirée and cotillion going; leading him around on his rhinestone studded collar and leash while the belles murmured in amazed awe at the muscled up yet domesticated Negro and tittered behind their fans.

    She taught him to read and write simple words and phrases: “Subject to all valid easements, rights of way, covenants, conditions, reservations and restrictions of record, if any. To have and to hold the same, together with all the buildings, improvements and appurtenances belonging thereto, if any, to the Mortgagee and Mortgagee’s heirs, successors and assigns forever. Mortgagor covenants with Mortgagee that: Mortgagor will promptly pay the above indebtedness when due; 2. Mortgagor will promptly pay and discharge all real estate taxes, assessments and charges assessed upon the property when due, and in default thereof, Mortgagee may pay the same and such amounts will also be secured by this Mortgage; 3. Mortgagor will keep the buildings and improvements on the property, if any, insured against loss by fire and other casualty in the name of Mortgagee in such an amount and with such company as shall be acceptable to Mortgagee, and in default thereof, Mortgagee may effect such insurance and such amounts will also be secured by this Mortgage…” he would read haltingly and Lullabelle would clap her tiny hands in girlish delight.

    “Verah good, Mandingo! Verah good – we shall make an assistant law professor of you yet!”

    “With all dispatch indeed Miss, I mean Yassum!” agreed the beaming Mandingo.

    And as their familiarity grew with each steamy, sultry pasing day Lullabelle became more aware of Mandingo’s muscular blackness and the strange new stirring in her pantaloons.

    “Git on outta theah!” she would yelp. “Shoo!” and the curious possum would slide down her leg and scuttle away hurriedly.

    “Eep eep!” it would go.

    Meanwhile, Mandingo could not keep his fevered mind away from thoughts of Miss Lullabelle; forbidden thoughts that could only lead him to the Castration Shed and the auction block but which he could not drive away, anymore than he could drive away the urgent stirring in his trousers – and which wasn’t no possum this time…no suh!

  23. Liberals Make Great Speedbumps says:

    Eep eep indeed! Poor possum probably was traumatized after visiting those pantaloons. Great job artboy, laughed my a** off as usual.

  24. Gila Monster says:

    Ahm laffin’ out loud Artboy. A hilarious trilogy (so far), more installments forthcoming?

    “Maybe it was her penis, maybe it was something else”, priceless!

  25. artboyusa says:

    Thanks Lib and Gila. Yeah, I liked that one too.

    I’d planned to end it here but if public demand warrants I’ll see if I can dredge up another instalment…

  26. artboyusa says:

    “MONDO MANDINGO” – back by popular demand (well, Gila asked for more and he’s popular). Starring Barack Obama as “Barry Mandingo”!

    The door crashed open and sudden sunlight flooded into the darkened barn to illuminate a lurid tableau – the muscular, dusky form of Barry Mandingo locked in sweating, thrusting, heaving, grunting and some other words ending in “ing” carnal union with the somewhat paler form of Miss Lullabelle, the mismatched couple sprawled across the hay, lost in the heat of carnal abandon.

    “Mandingo! Oh Mandingo! Race pollute me! Pollute me now!” moaned the pallid aristocrat. “Hey – who’s that? Who opened the door?

    “Lullabelle! Whatshisface! Why, what in the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest is a going on here?!” demanded a furious Massa Harry.

    “What does it look like, you cuckolded chump?” sneered a shameless Lullabelle. “Ah’m having a ride on mah pet slave’s Nigerian Love Wand – and Ah was quite enjoyin’ it until y’all showed up”.

    “Love wand? Ride on? Enjoying it? Why, you…” snarled the enraged overseer.

    “I admit this looks bad” stammered Mandingo, unlocking Lullabelle’s ankles from around his juglike ears. “But let’s not, er, jump to any premature conclusions. I can, um, explain – you see, what really happened is… ”

    The nervous Negro’s eyes flew anxiously toward the bullwhip curled in Harry’s furious fingers and even more anxiously to the Colt’s Model 1844 revolver stuffed in his waistband.

    “Quit staring at my waistband! What are you – gay or something?” snapped Harry. “And climb off of my wife, goddammit!”

    “Yassuh, Massa” agreed Mandingo, hastily unplugging himself from Lullabelle. “Yassuh! Reckon I’ll just be hikin’ up mah trousers and be a-gittin’ back ta dem ole molasses fields double quick time. Sho nuff Ah will!”

    “Not so fast, you Nubian Rubirosa!” roared Harry. “Nobody rogers my wife senseless and then just walks away from it”.

    “Nubian Whatawhatta?” queried Mandingo.

    “Porfirio Rubirosa (1909-1965), the late Santo Domingo born international playboy and superstud” Harry informed the bemused slave. “Supposedly he had a wang as long as your arm or an arm as long as your wang or something like that. Anyway, that’s not important now. Let’s get back to me threatenin’ you with pain – sharp, searing, medieval type pain”.

    Uh oh, thought Mandingo. Vivid images of hot pokers, branding irons and nooses being flung over tree branches flashed through his mind. Uh oh.

    “Harry…Ah’ve nevah seen you lahk this” swooned Lullabelle, her breasts (for yes, there were two of them) heaving in agitation. “So powahful, so commanding…so manly”.

    “Shut up, you common nightwalker! You get back on up to the Big House and iron my shirt – I’ll deal with you later”.

    “Ah’ll pencil you in” cooed Lullabelle. “Honeypie…”

    Miss Lullabelle gathered up her skirts and bustled out on her tiny little feet.

    “Bye, baby” mumbled Mandingo. “Don’t forget to call me, okay?” but she was gone and didn’t look back.

    “Well, well, well…now I’ve got you all to myself” snarled Harry, rolling up the billowing sleeves of those weird puffy shirts they wore in those days and giving the bullwhip a preliminary little crack. “All to myself…”

    Uh oh thought Mandingo, not for the first time.

    “Now look…Barry – do you mind if I call you ‘Barry’?” said Massa Harry, drawing nearer to the alarmed African. “I’m not an unreasonable man. Let’s talk this thing over” he suggested, placing a somewhat more than friendly arm around Mandingo’s brawny black shoulder. “I can understand how this could happen; you’re a good looking guy. I bet you work out a lot, huh?”

    “Um, thanks. I like to keep in shape” mumbled Mandingo.

    “Oh it shows!” enthused Harry, giving Mandingo’s bicep a tentative little squeeze. “Believe me. Anyway, after what I saw earlier – you and your, um, Nigerian Love Wand – I think you and I could be good friends – real good friends. Real…close. Would you like that…Barry?”

    “I, uh, guess so”.

    “That’s great! Say, do you know what they like to do in Turkish prisons? No? Then this will be a new experience for you…”

    Uh oh, thought Mandingo, his eyes goggling out of his head. Uh oh and uh oh again.

    • Liberals Make Great Speedbumps says:

      Sounds like Barry & Harry’s opting for diplomacy over force worked out as usual for them. Thanks for the bonus installment artboy.

    • Gila Monster says:

      Looks like Harry and Mandingo are off to walk the line at the next anti-Prop 8 soiree with Perez, Moakler, Rosie, Wanda and the rest of the gay Gestapo, heh.

      Entertaining as always Artboy, kudos. ;o)

  27. sheehanjihad says:

    I found this by accident…but it is just hilarious…..and very telling.


  28. artboyusa says:

    Happy to oblige, Lib. Have a good weekend.

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