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Reuters Posts ‘April Fools’ Article About Ukraine

From a surely jesting Reuters:

Ten ways the Ukraine crisis may change the world

By Paul Taylor | March 31, 2014

BRUSSELS (Reuters) – As Moscow and the West dig in for a prolonged stand-off over Russia’s annexation of Crimea, risking spillover to other former Soviet republics and beyond, here are 10 ways in which the Ukraine crisis could change attitudes and policy around the world.

1) Russia diminished: Russia’s role in international affairs is diminished, at least temporarily. Moscow has been de facto excluded from the Group of Eight industrialized powers…

For crying out loud. All of the former ‘satellite’ countries that border Russia are now quivering with fear because they know they might be swallowed up next. The Soviet Union has for all intents and purposes been put back together. And we are supposed to believe that Russia has been diminished.

2) NATO revived: Just when it looked to be losing relevance as its mission in Afghanistan limps to a close, the U.S.-led military alliance is back in business. An increase in allied air patrols and war games showing the flag in Poland and the Baltic states is on the agenda, and Warsaw wants faster deployment of U.S. missile defense systems in central Europe…

More hilarity. The former Soviet Bloc countries that were thinking about joining NATO, like Ukraine, now know they can’t. And those that have joined NATO are now wondering if they did the right thing, after seeing Ukraine tossed to the wolves.

3) Energy diversification: The energy map of Europe is being redrawn with accelerated action to reduce dependence on Russian oil and gas…

Not if the crypto-communists environmentalists have their way. And they will.

4) China factor: The diplomatic alliance between Russia and China, which often vote together in the U.N. Security Council, could change in one of two directions – either rapprochement through a stronger energy partnership; or a cooling if China distances itself more from Putin’s behavior…

Unadulterated BS. China has applauded Putin every step of the way. And next month they are going to start an energy deal with China that will be the largest in the history of the world, and worth untold trillions of dollars.

The deal will double Russian oil supplies to China, and hand China’s state oil company a stake in Russian oil fields. The two countries have never been closer.

5) U.S. leadership: Washington’s global leadership role, weakened by the rise of emerging powers and by retrenchment under President Barack Obama, has been partially restored…

This is easily the most preposterous claim on this list of preposterous claims. Clearly this is an April Fools joke. If not, Reuters has given up any pretense of being a real news outlet. America’s leadership in the world has never been at a lower point in the last one hundred years.

6) German leadership: The Ukraine affair has cemented Berlin’s leadership role in Europe…

And why is that such great news?

7) EU united: The European Union has been reunited, at least for now, by the return of a common external threat…

More BS. The EU won’t even help a country whose only crime was trying to join the EU. They have not imposed any meaningful sanctions, because they don’t want to risk any of their ongoing deals with Putin.

8) Contest for Central Asia: both Putin and the West are wooing central Asian autocrats in energy-rich Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan…

This is positively Orwellian. All of these countries have witnessed what has happened to Georgia and Belarus and Ukraine. And they now know they have to toe the Putin line or else.

9) U.S.-Russian cooperation: some cooperation on global security issues will continue because Moscow has an interest in keeping it on track to avoid greater isolation…

Sure. Which is why Russia is helping Syria keep its chemical weapons. And why they are helping Iran to build nuclear reactors.

10) Putin’s future: Russia’s leader is near the peak of his popularity, riding a wave of nationalist pride over Crimea. However, instability may grow if he comes under pressure from magnates angry at losing value on their businesses, forfeiting foreign investment in Russia and facing travel restrictions and asset freezes in the West. Most are 150 percent loyal for now, but things may look different in six months’ time.

More laughable fantasy. There are no meaningful sanctions now, and there will be no meaningful sanctions six months from now. The day Putin took Crimea will be celebrated as a National Holiday.

This article was posted by Steve Gilbert on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014. Comments are currently closed.

2 Responses to “Reuters Posts ‘April Fools’ Article About Ukraine”

  1. yadayada

    3) Energy diversification: The energy map of Europe is being redrawn with accelerated action to reduce dependence on Russian oil and gas…

    oh yes, maps are most certainly being redrawn alright. many energy rich former soviet bloc countries are already beginning to redraw their border lines to incorporate putin’s vision of the near future.


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