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Scarlett Johansson May Play Young Hillary Clinton

The ‘laugh of the day,’ via the Politico:

Scarlett Johansson mentioned for Hillary Clinton film role

By KEVIN ROBILLARD | May 27, 2013

A bevy of big names are in the running to play a 26-year-old Hillary Rodham Clinton in a forthcoming biopic.

Scarlett Johansson, Reese Witherspoon, Les Miserables’ Amanda Seyfried and Zero Dark Thirty’s Jessica Chastain are all being considered to play the former First Lady, senator and Secretary of State, according to The Independent.

Why not Chris Matthews? He would seem to bear the closest resemblance to Hillary at that time.

The film, titled “Rodham,” focuses on Clinton’s time as a lawyer for House Judiciary Committee during the Watergate investigation.

You mean the period where Hillary was kicked off the committee for being too much of a partisan attack dog?

"They’re all wonderful actresses," Rodham director James Ponstoldt told the paper. "We’re very fortunate that a lot of really great actors are interested in playing these roles. We’re in an enviable position."

"Regardless of people’s political affiliation or how they feel about Hillary Clinton, you don’t find people who question the quality of her intelligence or her drive," he added. "I want a wonderful actress who could embody that.”

And never mind that Hillary had to marry Bill Clinton because she couldn’t pass the DC bar exam.

This article was posted by Steve on Tuesday, May 28th, 2013. Comments are currently closed.

8 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson May Play Young Hillary Clinton”

  1. GetBackJack says:

    The 2016 race is on

    Or, as we call it around here “I just threw up in my mouth a little …”

  2. preparing4theworst says:

    I suppose we could just leave the volume at zero….

  3. heykev says:

    “Why not Chris Matthews? He would seem to bear the closest resemblance to Hillary at that time.”

    Why not…although I think that Melissa McCarthy, Rosie O’Donnell, Gabourey Sidibe and of course John Goodman would also make an excellent choice.

  4. Noyzmakr says:

    I’d say that Kathy Kinney,”Mimi” from The Drew Carey Show, would be the best candidate but she would have to wear more makeup and trade the muu muu for pants suits.

  5. artboyusa says:

    Its time for some hard ridin’, hell for leather, strapped on excitement with HILLARY CLINTON as she stars in “The Way We Was” (featuring her Special Guest – “husband” BILL!)

    Bill put his big feet up on the desk and reached for the TV remote. Hey, “ET” was on and guess what? They were talking about Hillary and how some hot actress was going to play her in some movie maybe (Hillary hot? Now that was stretching it) and here was the hot actress and here was file footage of Hillary herself.

    There she was, big as life; yelling into a microphone and telling about a zillion angry Egyptians what they had to do to keep her happy. No wonder US foreign policy was in such great shape once Hillary took charge; there’s nothing like a bossy, sexually ambiguous American woman with dyed blonde hair and blue contact lenses who’s dressed like a man to get those Muslims toeing the line.

    “You need an orderly transition!” screamed Hilllary. “Or else! You saw what we did to Iraq. You want that here? Well, do you – bitch?”

    Here she was on Capitol Hill, taking full responsibility for nothing and screaming at the Congressmen: “So what? So frickin’ what? Once they’re dead, they’re dead! Why drag it up now? Let’s stop living in the past and climb over those dead bodies and move forward! Now let me out of here, bitch! I’m a very busy person!”

    Oh Hillary, Hillary, Hillary mused Bill redundantly. Hillary, Hillary, Hillary. She sure wasn’t like other women. She never had been. There was always something different about Hillary, a certain “something extra”.

    Maybe it was her penis, maybe it was something else, but whatever it was, she sure had it.

    Bill smiled at the soft focus memory of their first years together; of Hillary’s face as big and as bright as a harvest moon, of her signature monobrow, of her broad hips and generous buttock area squeezed into her special XXW bellbottoms and her nearly opaque granny glasses – whenever they went out Hillary certainly turned some heads!

    He recalled the sound of her voice, like metal grinding against metal, barking instructions at him in their most tender, intimate moments: “Lower! Higher! Quit it! I don’t like that! Don’t mess up my hair! Stop touching me! Don’t you DARE get that stuff on me! Are you finished yet?”

    In those far off days they could spend hours making hot, passionate love – sometimes with each other – and in between times they’d plan their future together.

    “So we have one kid for appearances sake and then you get the vasectomy, right?” she’d urged. “I’m not putting myself through all that twice!”

    “Doan’ trah and change me baby!” Bill had protested. “Ah ain’t getting’ spayed fuh nobahdy– no way!”

    But maybe, given what happened, that would have been a wise move after all. Instead they’d agreed on a different approach. “You go git yoahseff tied off raht now, little lady” said Bill. “Git on down ta that free clinic, you heah?”

    “But Bill, c’mon; wake up and smell the ovaries. I’m not even pregnant yet!”

    “Don’t hang me up on details, baby”.

    Bill leaned back in the rich Cordoban leather of his office chair and drew deeply on his Havana cigar. Funny how things work out, he mused. I should have known the marriage wouldn’t last he rued. That it would soon become a hollow sham. With Bill’s wandering eye, wandering hands and wandering other things there were always going to be, um, stress points. You know, I almost feel a certain small degree of responsibility, he sort of confessed before forgiving himself. After all, Hillary’s ”bi-curious” inclinations, which finally morphed into a full blown “lesbianization” hadn’t helped either.

    Speaking of full blown, he wondered whatever happened to that Lewinsky gal? Last Bill had heard, she was trying to break into the music business as “Lady Monica and the Protein Posse”. Well, good luck to her. No hard feelings on Bill’s part. Not for her anymore, anyway.

  6. untrainable says:

    I wonder if they’ll give slick Willy final say on who plays his wife. I’m sure he’d be willing to share a cigar with each of them as part of the audition process. Remember girls, blue is his favorite color.

  7. Mithrandir says:

    It’s strange that Scarlett Johansson does political commercials for WOMEN’S RIGHTS for the DNC, however, in “He’s Just Not That Into You” she is on screen stating BILL CLINTON is sexy. –yeah, the same man who has had sexual misconduct and rape allegations against him for decades is touted as being “sexy” by women’s rights advocates. Republicans COULD beat them over the head with this contradiction…..forever, but they give the democrats a pass on this one, like they did for ted kennedy.

    Who says we live in a sane world?

  8. River0 says:

    How about Oprah as Maxine Waters? Heroine of the people!
    I want to see Cameron Diaz as Golda Meir, as long as we’re in bizarro-world.

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