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“Sean Penn Saved 40 People” – A Katrina Fantasy

From the star-worshipping New York Daily News:

Celeb relief work has its own perils

Celebs are finding that it's a risky business trying to help out in New Orleans.

Sean Penn threw himself into the rescue efforts. But no sooner had he borrowed a boat to rescue people than some Aussie journo was reporting that the boat had sprung a leak – supposedly prompting locals to snicker as the Oscar-winner bailed it out.

Douglas Brinkley, the presidential historian who teaches at Tulane University, was at Penn's side. "There was never a leak," he tells us. "The boat was overloaded with people. It got some water in it, as boats usually do.

"I witnessed him rescuing up to 40 people," says Brinkley, who was assigned by Rolling Stone editor Will Dana to write about New Orleans' recovery. "He was up to his waist in toxic muck …. I'm not going to comment on Sean's trips to Iraq or Iran, but in this case, he was an American hero."

Penn claims to have been in New Orleans for less than nine hours. Penn's three man capacity boat already had himself, his personal photographer and reportedly two other passengers. Penn could not get the motor to work.

How did he rescue anyone, let alone forty people?

By the way that white thing Penn is wearing is not a lifejacket. It is a bullet-proof Kevlar vest. Penn was also toting an under-reported rifle during his derrings-do.

And how was it that Douglass Brinkley just happened to witness all of these rescues? Did he follow around Penn around all day? By Brinkley's own account he was on a different assignment.

Brinkley was even on the spot to refute the pervasive reports that Penn forgot to plug the boat's drain hole. All false, Brinkley assures us.

A cynical person might wonder if pretend-historian-for-hire Brinkley hasn't been signed on by Penn to burnish his record for a run at a political career.

Lest we forget, Brinkley was the author of Kerry's fiction-packed hagiography, Tour Of Duty. The book was even turned into a motion picture, which nobody ever saw. But Brinkley got another nice payday out of it, nonetheless.

Among the many services Brinkley provided his hero John Kerry was his well-timed promise to clear up Kerry's laughable "Christmas In Cambodia" claim–in an upcoming New Yorker article Brinkley was rushing to finish. Brinkley asserted he had all the facts that would prove Walter Mitty Kerry was telling the truth.

We're still waiting for that article, Doug.

By the by, since Penn took along his personal photographer, how is it that we've yet to see any photographs of him rescuing anyone? Are they still being photoshopped?

This article was posted by Steve Gilbert on Saturday, September 10th, 2005. Comments are currently closed.

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