Your Honor! He’s talking double Dutch to the Court

Just friggin brilliant…

The Prosecutor glared furiously at the slender, jug eared figure in the witness box.

“Barack Hussein Obama” he snarled “If that is your real name – you stand accused of triple murder in the second degree. Do you seriously expect this court to be taken in by this so-called defence of yours, this tissue of lies, half truths and distortions?”

The perspiring defendant moved his head from side to side, scanning desperately for the teleprompters on which he depended – without them the greatest out loud reader, sorry – orator, of our time was literally speechless.

“Um, errr – sure. I mean, uuuum, why… not?”

“Speak up please, Mr Obama”.

“I mean, aaah, yeah, sure…it’s all true. Just like I, errr, told… you”.

“So – you admit it! YOU ADMIT that it was YOU who gave the order that lead directly – DIRECTLY – ladies and gentlemen of the jury, to the deaths of these three young men! YOU and no one else!”

The Prosecutor produced a wicker basket from which he pulled out several black and white striped animals that he then chucked toward the cowering Obama.

“Objection!” cried defense attorney Holder. “Prosecution is badgering the witness”.

“Sustained” ruled the judge. “No badgering allowed. The bailiffs will remove those critters from the courtroom”.

There was a brief pause in the proceedings as the court officers peeled the enraged badgers off of Obama.

“C’mon Snowball, c’mon Mr Teeny” said Bailliff Joe, leading away the growling, hissing, furious mammals. “C’mon, Scratchy”.

“You may resume your questioning, Mr Prosecutor”.

“Thank you Your Honor. The bottom line, Mr Obama, is that you gave an order – based on what authority Heaven only knows – which snuffed out three young lives, the lives of three teenagers, the eldest barely 18, three young African-American –nay, AFRICAN men. Why, you may as well have pulled the trigger yourself!”

“Yeah…but…”

“No warrants! No charges filed! No legal representation! No trial! Just KERPOW! KERPOW! KERPOW! And young Akbar the promising young goatherd, young Tariq the promising young arms smuggler and young Jamal, the light of his mother’s missing eye, lay dead – DEAD! Innocent victims staining the waters of the Gulf of Aden with their blood without a thought from you about their human rights, as enshrined in international law. You made yourself judge, jury and executioner, didn’t you Mr Obama?” sneered the Prosecutor.

“But they weren’t innocent! As…president I felt, errr, that…”

“Three more victims of our nation’s culture of gun violence! Three more young lives full of promise cut down before their time! How can you sleep, sir, knowing what you have done? How can you sleep? Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you no… decency?”

“But I, uuum, I said…I would end…privacy on the high seas…”

“Listen to him! The witness’s statement makes no sense, Your Honor! He’s talking double Dutch to the Court – is he trying for a plea of insanity?”

“Are you Mr Obama?” asked the judge. “Do you wish to change your plea?”

“Will it, uuuuh, get me off the…hook?”

“Maybe”.

“Then….errr…yeah, sure. Okay… I’m crazy alright. Crazy as a…loon”.

“Captain, sir!” yelled the excited young ensign as he burst on to the bridge of the USS Walter Mondale. “Captain!”

“What is it, corporal?” enquired Barack Obama, World President and Salty Sea Dog, looking gazing steadily out to sea through his binoculars.

“Um, well sir; you’re, um, holding those glasses backwards, sir – if I may, sir?”

“Oh wow” said Obama as the ensign helpfully reversed the glasses for him and the ocean seemed to grow dramatically larger. “Wow. That’s some big ocean out there. Thanks”.

“Yessir. We have a report of pirate activity nearby, sir!”

“Pirates!”

“Yessir! They’ve seized the crew of an American tanker and they want a ransom, sir!”

“Ransom!”

“Yessir! They want five million dollars in cash, sir. And free air miles. And all the Sopranos episodes on DVD box sets. And some boxes of Milk Duds”.

“Is that all?”

“Yessir. And they say ‘No more shot-to-the-head funny business, American dogs – or the crew gets it’”.

“Chilling. And where are they?”

“We make their position to be here, sir” said the ensign, pointing to a chart.

Obama stared blankly at the confusing swirly lines, random numbers and different colors. “I… see. Very well, Mr Jones – let’s drive this boat over there. How fast can we go?”

“Thirty knots, sir!”

“Interesting, but I asked how fast we can go”.

“Thirty knots, sir!”

“So you say but how –“

“Sir! One nautical knot equals one nautical mile or 1.852 kilometers or 1.51 miles, approximately sir!”

“I, um, see. And so…?”

“We’ll be there by lunchtime, sir”.

“Excellent!” said Obama, rolling the steel ball bearings between his fingers. “Warp speed, Mr Jones!”

“Um, yes sir” said the ensign, stepping through the hatch as Obama resumed his position on the bridge, gazing meaningfully into the distance.

“I wish all those dopes that make fun of me could be here and see me talking big and looking so decisive and meaningful” mused Obama. “That’d shut them up” but no, it won’t.

And it doesn’t stop there now that Obalmy has allowed the embronic stem cell research to continue again.

I can just see it now….”Come on in little girl, we can get rid of that nasty pregnacy…just give me the $$.”

Next, he is on the phone selling the embryos to the labs for more $$.

Senator or Representaive?

Democrat or Republican?

Which state?

Mensa or little school bus? (I know, poor taste, but enquiring minds want to know)

Now, we all know they would have done the same for George Bush.

Yeah …. righhhhhhhhhht!!!

Undeterred Somali pirates hijack 4 more ships

“Undeterred by U.S. and French hostage rescues that killed five bandits, Somali pirates brazenly hijacked four more ships in the Gulf of Aden, the waterway at the center of the world’s fight against piracy…”

“In Washington, Obama appeared to move the piracy issue higher on his agenda, vowing the United States would work with nations around the world to fight the problem.

“I want to be very clear that we are resolved to halt the rise of piracy in that region and to achieve that goal, we’re going to have to continue to work with our partners to prevent future attacks,” Obama said at a news conference Monday…
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/200....._af/piracy

Good to see Bambi’s “warnings and strong leadership” are paying off. 1 Lebanese, 2 Egyptian and 1 Greek vessal’s were seized. Will he have the ability to garner international support for military forces to protect 65% of the world’s cargo? Or will he , through Cankles, spend months ad nauseum holding UN/NATO talks with little result?

Liberals are ALL Drama Queens.

The results don’t matter as long as the story keeps them energized.

Except, of course, they insist that THEIR story goes well…..so we have tax cheats, drug abusers, liars, abortionists, con-men, ponzi schemers, stock manipulaters……well, time restricts the complete list.

I believe its as simple, yet psychotic as you expalined – liberals relish the perception, the fantasy, an excerpt from some psuedo-ideologue over the reality around them.

In every issue, tenent or “cause” of liberalism – it resides in some “hopey, changey” rhetoric. Interesting, eh?
Example: Mortgage Meltdown.
liberals: it was unfair that “predetory” white business guys shoved bad loans down your throat, and lowered the minimum borrowing levels due to political pressure from our own party; and we know you don’t have the financial means to even stay in your home, due to eveil white businessmen and conservatives destroying our economy, so we are going to give you a bailout AFTER you don’t pay your mortgage 3 months. Additionally we are requesting you cease employment, if the evil white conservative hasn’t axed you already, and we will ensure longer COBRA health payments – with 70% being paid by said white evil conservative businessman. We have pressured auto makers, that we are slowly overtaking, to include “no job – no payment, bring the car back” policies in order to ensure you are traveling to and fro in style. Green would be preferred.

conservative/moderate/sane person: Don’t buy what you can’t and shouldn’t afford.

That seems to be the challange with conservatives and even moderates today: how do you address and communicate reality each day with sound policy, leadership and laws?