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The Hive – Please Talk Among Yourselves

Here is our usual weekend discussion thread, where comments on the general topics of the day are welcome.

But please remember to post and comment on specific news items in the ‘News Selected By Our Correspondents’ thread below or via the link found in the sidebar.

This article was posted by Steve on Friday, June 1st, 2012. Comments are currently closed.

4 Responses to “The Hive – Please Talk Among Yourselves”

  1. Petronius says:

    Peephole Magazine, 1 June 2012

    “Will Science Rescue the American Education System?” by Solyndra Fridsweed

    News From Nowhere : Prof. Alicia Tooting-Bec, the Nobel Prize winning micro-biologist from Bryn Mawr University, has achieved notable success with DNA-splicing in hamadryas baboons. Now Prof. Tooting-Bec is on the verge of another breakthrough with a troop she has been treating on a farm near Ligonier, Pennsylvania. She has been feeding them mega-doses of Brain Booster IQ pills, and other scientists who have seen the results call them “extremely promising” and “nothing short of spectacular.” A few of the baboons have even taken to performing light chores on the farm, such as feeding hogs from the tailgate of a pickup truck, and shucking field corn for use in ethanol production. One elderly female, named Delilah, has even learned to shear sheep using manual clippers, with minimal injuries to the sheep––no small accomplishment, even when it is considered that Delilah is gifted with opposable thumbs on both hands and feet. In the evenings, after the chores are done, they gather around a campfire made from burning hardback copies of Charles Murray’s “The Bell Curve” (1994), while Prof. Tooting-Bec reads selections from President Obama’s “Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance” (2007) and the juveniles respond “ummm, ummm, ummm” with excited arm gestures at the appropriate intervals. After the readings, Prof. Tooting-Bec plays rap tunes on her plastic recorder, and it is claimed that some members of the baboon troop have learned to grunt and screech the lyrics from Ludacris’ “Nasty Girl” (again, with lots of energetic arm action) at about fourth grade level; however, during a recent visit this reporter was able to recognize only a few words here and there. Prof. Tooting-Bec’s experiments were approved in a special ruling by DHHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, and are supported by generous grants from the U.S. Dept. of Education and the U.S. Dept. of Energy made possible by the Stimulus Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, and by additional funding from the California School Board Association, the American Federation of Teachers–Wisconsin, and Archer Daniels Midland Corporation. A Dept. of Labor bulletin notes that the Tooting-Bec Project (as it is known) has created or saved the jobs of four-and-a-half humans and thirty-two baboons.

    • canary says:

      Why isn’t PETA after this low IQ scientist Prof. Alicia Tooting-Bec who is stabbing and cutting up sheep in her experiments?

      Doesn’t the nutty professor Alicia Tooting- Bec understand primates can turn into the most vicious animals and eat the faces off human beings at the slightest trigger?

      “One elderly female, named Delilah, has even learned to shear sheep using manual clippers, with minimal injuries to the sheep––no small accomplishment, even when it is considered that Delilah is gifted with opposable thumbs on both hands and feet”

      Hasn’t the nutty professor Alicia Tooting-Bec read that teachers are now teaching we did NOT come from monkey’s.

      Scientists believe water was created first and changed the evolution theories that we humans came from fish creatures!

      Stupid Prof. Alicia Tooting-Bec needs to go back and start K-12th all over again.

      Hey! They won’t let those poor “chickens” come out of a box and play the piano for a quarter and teaspoon of corn anymore, and PETA must stop this mad scientist!

      Peta must warn her that the baboons might attack her with a pair of manual scissors and not just it’s teeth and fingernails. It would be a shame to put down a baboon. snif. snif.

  2. mr_bill says:

    It seems that Hosni Mubarak is quite ill. I’m not sure if he’s playing it up for the sake of leniency from the court. If so, he was successful. My guess is that it isn’t an act. He’s been hospitalized since he left power. That has led me to wonder how long he would have survived if he were left alone and not ousted from power. Surely, Mubarak dying in office would have led to a more peaceful transition of power in Egypt. The muslim brotherhood may have been able to claw its way into power, but the chances of that would have been far less than they are now.

    It seems that the US should have had intel on the health of Mubarak. If it did, it should have known that his health was failing and that he wouldn’t survive past a year or two. Wouldn’t it have been preferable to allow a reasonably peaceful change of power in Egypt, rather than to rush in (like the war-mongers that the left accuses the right of being) and forcefully depose a moderately pro-western leader (who didn’t pledge death to Israel), in favor of muslim radical extremists? Methinks yes. I can only guess at the motivations of dear leader for supporting such a band of marauding murderers. My suppositions have a lot to do with nerobama’s continual animous towards Christians, Jews, and Israel.

    • Rusty Shackleford says:

      The only answer I can come up with is that the US advisers to captain McFlappyears wanted to use it as a way to, once again, try to bolster his foreign policy credibility. In other words, they know he has none and needed a staged event to push his reputation up.

      Which, like all things national socialists do, was a miserable failure and smugly manipulated in the press and which landed with a dull thud.

      It’s like putting Mo Howard and Curly on the front line during a Superbowl game. Or having a professional hairstylist rewiring your home. The difference being that D’oh-bama has no marketable skills. None. He’s never developed a thinking mind that can be critical of anything beyond how things make him angry.

      He cannot see both sides of any argument, and his handlers, who aren’t much more socially adroit, think they can get him a better track-record by putting him in these situations. They blow it every time and the real comedy is that they can’t figure out why. I was reminded of this very thing in the Wal-Mart parking lot the other day when a car drove by that had an engine making very loud, nasty noises, but they drove through the parking lot, up to the street and went on down the road.

      This is the democrat party. They figure as long as they pretend not to notice it, no one else will. They falsely assume that the news media, by not reporting the negatives, will actually keep the people from getting the truth. Big mistake. Additionally, they even go so far as to say, “What noise? No, the engine’s running fine; It’s not making any noise.”, also thinking that it will stifle people’s opinion or curiosity.

      Think “The Black Knight” from “Monty Python And The Holy Grail”.

      I do laugh at it now. D’oh-bama and crew are pathetically laughable. Axelrod the other day with “You can’t handle the truth”. Perfect. Nothing better than watching socialists fail miserably and having no one to blame but themselves.

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