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‘Triangular’ Flapjacks Banned In British Schools

From the UK’s Daily Mail:

Triangular flapjacks banned from secondary school over health and safety fears after boy is hit in the eye during canteen food fight

Castle View School in Canvey Island, Essex, will serve square treats only

By Harriet Arkell | 25 March 2013

A school has banned triangular flapjacks on health and safety grounds after a pupil was hit in the eye by one during a lunch-time food fight.

But ‘if triangular food is criminalized, only criminals will have triangular food.’

Dinner ladies at the comprehensive school were told to cut flapjacks into squares or rectangles only from now on after the Year 7 boy was sent home complaining of a sore eye.

This morning a spokesman for Essex County Council confirmed the ban on triangular treats at Castle View School on Canvey Island was true.

The new ruling on flapjacks, which have been served at the school for 15 years, was imposed by head Gill Thomas soon after the incident in the canteen last Wednesday.

The boy complained to staff that his eye hurt after he was struck in the eye by the corner of a flying flapjack, and was sent home for the afternoon, although his injuries did not merit hospital treatment.

Whew!

The incident was reported to the head, and within 24 hours, school manager Keith Evans held a meeting for catering staff at the school, deemed ‘satisfactory’ by Ofsted, and told them to serve only four-sided flapjacks in future.

A source said: ‘Catering staff were told the pointy, triangular flapjacks were dangerous after the boy hurt his eye.

‘This doesn’t address the fact that the children can cut them into pointy shapes if they wish, or the issue of behaviour in the canteen.’

Obviously, if the children can’t be trusted with pointy food they should not be trusted with knives.

This morning a spokesman for Essex County Council said: ‘We can confirm that the story is true’, but the school did not return calls from MailOnline.

Parents are now wondering what other potentially-lethal foodstuffs may be banned from the 1,200-pupil school on account of their shape.

One said: ‘I wonder if carrot batons will be prohibited from now on?’

Another said: ‘This is bad news for broccoli spears.’

Sure, it’s a big joke. Until someone puts an eye out.

By the way, has anyone alerted Mayor Bloomberg to this latest potential danger?

This article was posted by Steve Gilbert on Monday, March 25th, 2013. Comments are currently closed.

6 Responses to “‘Triangular’ Flapjacks Banned In British Schools”

  1. I’d say they’re not seeing the elefant in the room on the triangular flapjack issue.

    First, who the hell makes triangular flapjacks in the first place? And how much extra per/flapjack charge is there to taxpayers for the shapely syrup soppers?

    Second, How stiff must a “flap”jack be to cause serious injury? Aren’t flapjacks supposed to be light and fluffy? Even a pointy shape wouldn’t hurt if they were light and fluffy to begin with. Who’s cooking these flapjacks… Lisa Douglas from Green Acres? Jeez. OLIVAAAAHHH!

    Third, if you fold a square flapjack in half, corner to opposite corner, you’re just giving the little brats 2 triangular flapjacks for the price of one square. Wouldn’t that be considered high capacity weapon?

    Fourth, DOES ANYONE THINK THAT MAYBE CHILDREN SHOULDN’T BE THROWING THEIR FOOD AT EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE? It’s like the anti-gun nuts here in this country. It’s not the fault of the wreckless flapjack thrower, it’s the fault of the flapjack itself. Why not just ban flapjacks altogether. The kids will have to figure out how to make a weapon out of gruel. And unless Lisa Douglass IS the chef at this school, gruel is pretty hard to sharpen.

    And just one last question… why are kids eating breakfast at school in the first place? How many billion euros could be saved by forcing parents to feed their own children?

  2. Helena

    “Sure, it’s a big joke. Until someone puts an eye out.” – you’re channeling my grandmother…

    But, seriously — insofar as any response to a piece about geometrically enhanced aggressive capabilities of food can be serious — clicking on the link to the original article, the “flapjacks” pictured are not what we call flapjacks. They’re more like what we call granola bars. They look like blocks of oats and sugar, very dense and hard and I don’t think I’d like to be hit in the eye with one.

    But — really seriously — as untrainable has noted: WHY is the discussion not why the state should feed these kids at all, if they’re only throwing it at each other?

  3. bousquem25

    If the corners are the issue why not just make them circles because a square or rectangle has more sharp points than a triangle does. Oh wait, then the food will be a frisbee. The issue should be the food fight not what food is being used as ammo.

  4. canary

    The flap jacks were originally square to begin with. The rationing cuts of food angered children and parents.

  5. When triangles are outlawed, I”be a triangle ….

  6. canary

    So, the stupid Brits think 4 corners is safer than 3 corners?


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